Which way to the portal that takes us out of this bad thriller?

OMG. Mystery seeds? Really? It’s like we’re living in a Netflix mystery/horror thriller. Where’s the portal, please?

U.S. citizens, including some in the YubaSutter-colusa area, according to officials, are receiving unsolicited packets of seeds. They come in packages from China or other Asian countries.

We don’t trust anything from China, a country run by people who increase their profit and purchase in the world by bothering democratic republics where citizens expect their own governments to serve them instead of treating them like servants without rights.

So suspicion abounds.

Silliness? How does a trick like this frame us when we make such a fuss over something that’s most likely so dumb? Or is it insidious? You just don’t know. What if it’s seeds to plants that would run rampant, negatively affect our environment, or infect crops with some genetic malady?

Some day, investigators will find, we hope, it was all a hoax and we were made to look a little foolish. But best to be safe.

Our local agricultural commissioners ask that we not open the packets, not plant the seeds, or, just as importantly, that we not dispose of the seeds without proper care.

“Recently, the California Department of Food and Agriculture has become aware of several reports regarding ‘mysterious and unsolicited seeds from China and other parts of Asia.’ The seed packages, often labeled as jewelry, toys, etc., are being shipped to homeowners throughout the U.S., including Yuba and Sutter counties,” it was reported in a news release.

We’re asked to contact the ag commissioners if we receive any seeds. They’ll take them off our hands and handle them safely.

You can find contact information for agriculture commissioners on county websites.