Husband has reconnected with old girlfriend through social media
DEAR ABBY: I just found out my husband has been texting with his high school sweetheart for the last three years. He contacted her and shares all day-to-day activities, like our vacations, new dog, etc. She lives 2,500 miles away. She’s divorced, retired like us and has children and grandchildren. I snooped and read his email. I can tell by her responses that she is being polite.
I don’t understand why he contacted her after so many years and why he shares everything with her, as we have a close relationship and share everything. He did mention a year ago that he was in touch with her. I didn’t think much about it then, but now that I know how long this has been going on, I’m wondering why. Should I be concerned about this? -PUZZLED IN MAINE
DEAR PUZZLED: What is happening could be innocent, or it could be crossing a line. You will never know until you discuss this with your husband. You may not have to disclose that you read the texts if you say you recalled him mentioning that they were in touch “a while back” and let the conversation evolve from there.
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DEAR ABBY: My 22-yearold stepdaughter has been receiving very large Venmo payments into her bank account. I know this because my husband, her father, is also on the account and I have access to it. We have asked her several times where the money is coming from. The first time, she lied and said it was from dog walking. (She has a history of lying.)
She has recently started claiming that her old “boyfriend” from four years ago -- whom she broke up with because she found tons of photos of half-naked women on his phone -- was sending her money. Abby, this isn’t $20 or even $100. It’s thousands of dollars EVERY month. Her ex was a delivery driver. No way can he make that much after-tax money. Where do you think she’s getting the money? I say sex, but my husband refuses to believe it. What should I do? -- SUSPICIOUS IN TEXAS
DEAR SUSPICIOUS:
I, too, suspect that your stepdaughter may be involved in something sex-related.
She could be an escort, have found herself a sugar daddy, or be participating in a sex webcam show. She could also be involved in selling illegal drugs.
Because your husband refuses to believe his daughter would do anything illicit, for the sake of your marriage, take a step back. Wait to see what transpires. His daughter is an adult and is responsible for making her own decisions. Because she has trouble telling the truth, there is nothing you can do to help.
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DEAR ABBY: My in-laws live 90 minutes away, so when they visit, they usually stay with us for a night or two. I don’t mind hosting them. They are delightful people, and we always have a good time. However, now that they’re getting older, I’m wondering what the etiquette is for sleeping arrangements.
We don’t have a guest bedroom, so they sleep on a pullout sofa with a pillow topper. While they’ve never mentioned it, I know it’s not all that comfy, and I know they have some age-related aches and pains. When my grandparents stayed with us when I was a kid, they usually slept in my sister’s double bed, and she slept on the floor in the room I shared with my other sister.
Would offering my in-laws my son’s double bed be a good idea going forward? (Something about offering the master bedroom seems weird.) I’m fortunate to have great in-laws and would like to do right by them. It’s just a night or two, after all. What would you recommend I do? -- COMFORT CREATURE IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR COMFORT CREATURE: Ask your inlaws whether they would be more comfortable if you changed their sleeping arrangements. If they say yes, have a chat with your son, explain the problem and tell him you want him to sleep on the pullout sofa bed when his grandparents are visiting.