One Business No Community Needs: The Rumor Mill
SPRINGFIELD — Most every town in America, no matter the population, has a rumor mill. However, the rumor mill is one business no community needs according to David Burton, civic communication specialist with University of Missouri Extension.
“The rumor mill is run by volunteers that specialize in gossip, but the rumor mill doesn’t turn a profit or generate any tax revenue,” said Burton. “In fact, the only product made at the rumor mill results in hurt lives. Our goal should be to put the rumor mill out of business.”
Taking Personal Responsibility
Putting the rumor mill out of business requires individual actions according to Burton. He offers three primary ways to stop gossip in its track and help close the rumor mill.
First, when someone starts to share gossip with you, just change the subject.
“If a conversation isn’t heading in a helpful direction, choose to be the one who changes its course by changing the subject,” said Burton. “Nothing puts a stop to gossip like earning a personal reputation for not spreading gossip.”
Second, say something positive about the person targeted by gossip.
“Remind people who are gossiping that the person they’re talking about has said or done something good by mentioning something specific that’s positive,” said Burton.
Third, confront gossip politely yet firmly. It can sometimes be a good idea to point out missing information, too.
“Stand up to people who are gossiping about someone by saying that you don’t want to know about the story they’re trying to tell you,” said Burton.
Psychologists say that when someone is trying to involve you in gossip, the best thing to ask is: “Why are you telling me this?”
First, the question immediately disrupts any self-serving motive. Second, it shows the gossip that the person they are talking to is probably none-too-happy about being involved.
According to Burton, there are several negative impacts of gossip on an individual that can also damage leaders or emerging leaders in a community.
For starters, gossip will come back to hurt you personally.
“If you are spreading gossip about someone there is a pretty good chance that they are sharing gossip about you,” said Burton.
Earning a reputation as a gossip will isolate you because no one will trust you.
“In the long run, if you gossip, people will stop trusting you with information,” said Burton.
Gossip does hurt other people. It can cause people to feel embarrassed and ashamed. Being a gossip also tarnishes a person’s honesty and causes them to break promises.
“Often we end up spreading gossip about someone just because it makes a perfect story and then we remember we were asked not to repeat the story,” said Burton. “Breaking a promise impacts your reputation and causes people not to trust you.”
Most importantly, gossip spreads lies, and that makes the rumor mill a toxic business.
“Just like the game of telephone, as a story gets repeated things get added and even more falsehoods enter in,” said Burton.
No Gossip Policies
More businesses are now taking steps to stop a pervasive culture of gossip because it is detrimental to the business. The same is true for a community.
“In a workplace and community, gossip destroys morale, creates negative energy and stops people from becoming a united team,” said Burton.