Miami Herald (Sunday)

A few family members attend gatherings only for the food

- CAROLYN HAX WORD GAME UNIVERSAL CROSSWORD KENKEN

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A creative approach to money, possession­s and health matters will improve your way of life. Setting up your environmen­t to cater to your needs and dreams is in your best interest.

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19: Don’t let an outsider interfere in your personal life. Be a good listener and mull over suggestion­s, but when you make a decision, do whatever you feel is best for you and your loved ones. 4 stars

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18: Dig deep, gather facts and be ready for any opposition the same two attended a baby shower for the same relative. They again came late, barely interacted with anyone. When the meal was served, they ate and — again, just as presents were to be opened — they got up and left.

Several attendees made comments to their rudeness. We were all brought up to believe that if you attend an event, then you stay for the event, not eat and run. If you can’t stay for the party, don’t come.

Please let us know how to deal with this relative, who feels this is acceptable behavior.

— Frustrated in the West

Frustrated in the West: Well, wait.

This is about past behavior, right, that you lately have all the time in start starve stat state stater stave stay stet stray stye yare year yeast that comes your way. Look for the good in everyone, but don’t be gullible when dealing with the informatio­n someone who tends to exaggerate offers you. 3 stars

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20: A reward will come your way if you are kind and compassion­ate. Someone or something you cared about will surface, offering you a second chance to make a wish turn into a reality. 3 stars

ARIES

March 21-April 19: Make adjustment­s before someone asks you to or puts in a complaint. Be the one to make a differthe world to ruminate on, because you are currently not gathering to keep your community safe? Right?

You also don’t know your family member

“feels this is acceptable.” You she arrives late and leaves early — that’s the extent of your direct knowledge. Beyond that is speculatio­n.

If you know her really well, then it’s informed speculatio­n, yes. But people can swan in late and still feel shame for it, for example. Or she can know it’s wrong and know others resent it, but still have reasons for doing it that outweigh the social-damage risk. And the “grand entrance” you’re harrumphin­g could, to her, be a walk of shame she wishes she were organized enough to avoid. Or an unfortuenc­e or to do something that will make others feel good. 3 stars

TAURUS

April 20-May 20:

Don’t take anything for granted. Look inward, strive to look your best and do whatever you can to make others feel good. An unusual offer or surprise will help you adjust to the changes taking place around you. 4 stars

GEMINI

May 21-June 20: You’ll learn from an experience you encounter that involves a friend or relative. Don’t trust anyone with sensitive informatio­n that can make your life difficult. Take care of pernate necessity. These are examples of speculatio­n that doesn’t assume the worst of her.

So that’s where I will start my advice: Deal with this by not filling in any of the blanks with negative judgments. I, too, was “brought up to believe” a lot of inflexible ways of behaving and perceiving, and I can vouch firsthand for the liberating effect of rethinking and even rejecting such indoctrina­tion.

I urge you and your fellow attendees to deal charitably with this relative and anyone else who goes off the script as harmlessly as she does.

When(ever) she arrives, be happy to see her; when(ever) she leaves, say you’re glad she came. When she’s there, engage her in conversati­on. Go sonal matters yourself, and develop opportunit­ies on your own to avoid disappoint­ment. 2 stars

CANCER

June 21-July 22: The change someone makes will motivate you to try something new and exciting. A partnershi­p will broaden your horizons and make you realize you don’t have to do everything alone. 5 stars

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22: Don’t act in haste. A job posting may look enticing, but read between the lines and you’ll discover it’s not a step up. Don’t feel pressured to make a change prematurel­y. out of your way to include her — unless she’s clearly uncomforta­ble with hostly attention, in which case you make it your privilege to give her space.

This grace costs you

Take your time, and the right opportunit­y will come your way. 3 stars

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22: A physical change will lift your spirits. A trendy look, a couple of selfies and a social media platform will draw plenty of attention. Spending quality time with someone will warm your heart and encourage you to make a romantic gesture. 3 stars

LIBRA

Sept. 23-Oct. 22: Before you spend, make sure you have enough cash. Taking on an unnecessar­y debt will leave you stressed about upcoming bills. You can have nothing. It might enrich you both.

You can see it as rewarding bad behavior, sure — or you can see it as prioritizi­ng inclusion. Up to you. Latter feels kinder.

Today he is not in pain, and his naps have slowed down. I work full-time, but he had to retire.

With COVID, it’s hard to go anywhere with him. How do I stop feeling guilty if after work I want to go to a friend’s house for an hour or two, or to dinner at an outdoor restaurant? Or a drive to clear my head? I know I’ll soon be wishing I could sit on the couch and watch TV with him again, but lately, I just need to carve out a small slice of time for me. — Guilty in Massachuse­tts

Dear Guilty: Do not beat yourself up for being human. When a beloved spouse is terminally ill, it is extremely stressful for both the patient and the caregiver. This is why it is important for your own health to allow time for yourself. How much time can vary from individual to individual, but it must be enough to rejuvenate.

Your husband needs you, but he also needs you to be your best self so you can provide physical and emotional support during this important final chapter. If you were to talk about this with him, I am sure he would tell you that I am right. If you let your conscience guide you, you won’t go wrong, and you will have fewer regrets. just as much fun taking a walk with someone you love and live within your means. 3 stars

SCORPIO

Oct. 23-Nov. 21: Putting in the hours will pay off. Don’t let someone’s uncertaint­y leave you confused or wondering where you stand. 5 stars

SAGITTARIU­S

Nov. 22-Dec. 21: A sensitive situation will surface with a friend or relative. Listen, but don’t make promises or take on other people’s problems. You’ll be disappoint­ed by someone you thought was trustworth­y. 2 stars

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