Take it from a grandmother: Growing old is a privilege to be savored

When I confessed these misgivings to a friend, who is anxiously awaiting the crown of grandma “hopefully before I croak,” she said it doesn’t take a grandchild’s licensing experience to force you to realize this inevitable truth.

Her acceptance came in stages, she added, and each stage was accompanied by a jolt of self-awareness. It began when people started referring to her as ma’am. Once she got used to that initial shock, she decided to think of it as an honorific title. And why not? The idea is to age boldly, with just the right touch of defiance and grace. What’s more, we should do this without lament or regret.

Then one of her high school pals decided to nickname their longtime clique The Golden Girls, as much for their age as their choice of salon-applied hair color. She liked Golden just fine. Finally, this was followed by the surprise that Mick Jagger, he of the hip-swiveling dance moves, had become a greatgrandfather. A great-grandfather, imagine that. Even rolling stones reach certain life markers, though the 81-year-old doesn’t seem to be resting on his laurels.

It’s taken me a few days to understand what she was trying to tell me, but I suppose we each arrive at moments of insight on our own schedule. There’s nothing wrong with remembering the sweetness of what is past. Nothing inherently gloomy about a trip down memory lane. Events that make us feel over the hill— the sudden recognition that crawling babies have become driving teenagers — are reminders that we are a small but important stitch in the huge quilt that is family.

At times, it may feel like a loved one is growing up way too fast, that the rush of life is leaving me behind, a hapless passenger in a train without a conductor. But that’s not true at all. Growing old is a privilege, and so is bearing witness to the beautiful metamorphosis of a grandchild.

Ana Veciana-Suarez writes about family and social issues. Email her at avecianasuarez@gmail.com or visit her website anavecianasuarez.com. Follow @AnaVeciana.