Invitations are turned down for safety reasons

Dear Abby: I have a former co-worker whose husband was just released from a psychiatric facility. He had threatened to kill himself and take the entire family with him. I met him before the incident. I was uncomfortable being around him.

Since his release, my friend keeps inviting me to their house and wants to come to mine. I keep making excuses for not allowing visits to my house or hers. I still have a bad feeling about being exposed to him. I have been in abusive relationships in the past, and one attack was nearly fatal.

I have spoken to her about the dangers of being with a person such as him. But she says she can’t leave because they have three children on the spectrum. Am I being silly? — Apprehensive in Texas

Dear Apprehensive: No, you are not being silly. Listen to your gut. If you are uncomfortable being around her husband, you do not have to be.

Dear Abby: We have a dear friend, a widower, whom we invite to dinner frequently because he is alone. Usually these invitations include other guests.

Our articulate friend has the most annoying habit of blowing his nose at the table into one of my cloth napkins. It is disgusting. What can I do to make him stop? I tried placing a small box of tissues next to his dinner plate, but he ignores them and uses his napkin anyway. — Turned Off at the Table

Dear Turned Off: Because you tried the subtle approach and it didn’t work, TELL this impolite widower that you placed the box of tissues near him so he would stop using your napkins as handkerchiefs. Frankly, it is considered rude to blow one’s nose at the table AT ALL.

Contact Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.