Ex balks at inviting new woman to son’s party

Dear Abby: My husband of nearly 22 years and I divorced last year after he told me he didn’t want to be married anymore and didn’t know if he ever loved me. Since our split, he has bought a home with another woman — the same woman I suspected him of having an affair with, and the same woman he encouraged me to befriend during our marriage. (I even took her on a trip to Europe.)

Our son is graduating from high school. We are planning a belated, socially distanced graduation party for my son, and my ex wants to bring her. My challenge is that I am with someone new as well, but he is someone who came into my life a couple of months after my ex and I separated. I want him to be at the party, but I don’t want her there. I feel our circumstances are quite different.

My son is my priority, so I am leaning toward asking my new significant other not to attend, and then asking that she not attend either. What should I do? — Proud Mom Moving On

Dear Mom: I understand your hurt feelings, but, as you wrote, the party is a celebration of your son’s achievement and nothing else. If things turn out as it appears they will, your ex may marry this woman, and she would be to some extent in your life when your son marries, starts a family, etc.

The saving grace through all of this is you have a new partner in your life who can help buffer you. Fortunately, you will be social distancing, so you won’t have to spend much time in her space. While you don’t have to welcome this woman with open arms, please observe the social niceties and devote the majority of your time to mingling with the other guests.