Changing diaper makes mess at family baptism

Dear Abby: My sister-inlaw “Brenda” often takes it upon herself to change a baby’s diaper during social gatherings with family. She never bothers to ask the baby’s parents if it’s OK to do this, and they never solicit her help. For years, I found it a bit strange, but never said anything to Brenda or another family member.

Some time ago, my inlaws and immediate family were at my son’s baptismal party. Several babies from my wife’s side as well as my own were there. My wife’s relatives aren’t wellacquainted with mine.

During the festivities, my wife’s niece— who was still in diapers— appeared to have a full load in her back side. Her parents were in another room. Without informing them of the issue or asking permission,

Brenda took it upon herself to change the diaper. The child’s mother walked into the room and began to loudly scold Brenda. You could see the mother was upset and scared, since she did not know Brenda at all.

After the party ended, my family couldn’t understand why the child’s mother became so upset. I fully understand why the mother became upset. Given the fact that she doesn’t know Brenda, and that one must clean the baby’s private parts when changing a diaper, I don’t understand why Brenda would take this upon herself. What’s your opinion, Abby?— Strange in the East

Dear Strange: What your sister-in-law did may have been fine with her own family, but for her to have changed the diaper of a child whose parents she didn’t know (and from whom she didn’t have permission!) was inappropriate. I don’t fault the mother for being upset. It’s time someone explains boundaries to Brenda.

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