Rambunctious kids turn their parent into a holiday grinch this year
Dear Carolyn:
My children have turned me into a grinch! I used to like the holidays. But the disruption in routines, and extra sugar, mean days of rambunctious kids after the big day is over. So how do I sit back, relax and let the kids enjoy candy in their stockings without dreading the days of tantrums when the family goes home, and the routine sets back in?
— Grinch
Grinch: The misery of disrupted routines is an under-talked-about problem, in my opinion.
The only thing that seemed to help was being less ambitious in our holiday plans and more physically active; the “sit back, relax” option usually led to the most colorful emotional unravelings. Letting go is fine when applied to the idea of not micromanaging the candy intake, but I think you need to balance that out by getting ahead of the meltdowns and getting everyone out for a hike.
Dear Carolyn:
My only brother and his girlfriend announced in August they’re expecting a baby. Yahoo! My parents and I were so excited, a new little person to love. Although behind the scenes, my mom did a bit of hand-wringing about the instability of their relationship — not living together, not even dating for all that long. I was more optimistic and excited to support them in the building of their family.
But Mom was right. Apparently they’ve had a bunch of horrible fights and now they’re breaking up. The girlfriend is moving back to her hometown, 120miles away, to be near her family for support. I am so disappointed. I was really excited to become an aunt, and now that is slipping away. I don’t have an independent relationship with the baby’s mom and my brother is too upset to help facilitate one. So now what?
— Long-Distance Auntie
Long-Distance Auntie:
You will still be an aunt, only 120miles away— plus, presumably, your brother will share custody? So the only thing “slipping away” is the beta version of your imagined auntie role. New version: When the child is with Daddy, a lovingly invested auntie can be there helping out.