Mother to many, she has become the guiding light of her extended family
Mother to multiple generations, Hortense Mitchell cares for so many people with so many needs that she barely has time to take care of herself.
Think of Hortense Mitchell as a sun at the center of an everexpanding solar system of planets dependent on her steadfast warmth.
Mother to multiple generations, Mitchell takes care of so many people with so many needs that she barely has time to take care of herself.
“I actually have to make an appointment to take a bath after everyone falls asleep,” she said. “My midnight baths.”
A parent of four children ranging in age from 22 to 36, Mitchell is now a parent all over again. She is raising two of her granddaughters — aged 2 and 5 —
because their mother could not bear responsibility for them. She also cares for her 8-month-old granddaughter five or six days a week while the baby’s parents are working.
She is mother to her mother, Viola Richards, 75, who has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and is tethered to an oxygen tank. Viola has dental problems so Mitchell must prepare separate meals with soft food for her.
“I’m starting from the beginning,” said Mitchell, 54. “Changing diapers like I was 20, 30 years ago.”
She’s cooking and cleaning for five, supervising bedtimes and nap times and play times, overseeing schoolwork, shuttling everyone to appointments and keeping the kids occupied during the coronavirus pandemic. She’s the one who walks and feeds pet dog Ray, rescued from an animal shelter. She’s managing an overloaded household on her own. Mitchell lives in a small rental unit in Florida City where the air conditioner drips water into a bucket, the refrigerator doesn’t cool properly and the roof leaks.
Mitchell also volunteers at her church and at 5year-old Le’Shay’s elementary school. She works with the speech, physical and occupational therapists who are treating 2-year-old Elaine for developmental delays that cause her to have trouble with her gait and a tendency to bang her head when she’s frustrated.
“Hortense is a one-woman orchestra,” said Maria Barros, director of the Association for Retarded Citizens center in Florida City where Elaine attends the Project Thrive early intervention program.
Barros nominated Mitchell for the Miami Herald’s annual Wish Book, which helps deserving people in the community during the holidays.
“She is daughter, mom and grandmother putting family first as they get by with very little,” Barros said. “And she does it with a strong will, a lot of love, and a selfless, cheerful and grateful attitude that we could all learn from.”
Mitchell grew up in a farming community in St. Catherine’s, Jamaica. After moving to Miami, she worked at Homestead Air Reserve Base until she was injured in a kitchen accident when a meat-slicing machine fell on top of her. She was in chronic pain until a spinal-nerve stimulator was surgically implanted in her back. She supports her family on disability checks.
“For a few years I could hardly stand and had to use a wheelchair,” Mitchell said. “I’ll be on painkillers for the rest of my life.”
Mitchell took custody of Le’Shay when she was three months old and Elaine at birth when their mother — Mitchell’s 26year-old daughter who has HIV and bipolar disorder — could not take care of them.
“They’re my grandkids and I did not want them placed in the foster system,” Mitchell said. “Their mother threatened to leave Elaine at the hospital when she was born. My daughter doesn’t stick to her medication so she acts out and has many problems. We can’t really see her until she gets better, and I’m hopeful that someday she will.
“My main worry is if anything happens to me, who will take the children, and my mother, too?”
Mitchell’s youngest daughter, Jeffie, lives at home and tries to help out but is busy as an FIU accounting student and Ocean Bank employee.
“Sometimes when I wake up, I feel like I cannot go a foot farther, but I just push myself to move forward one step at a time,” Mitchell said. “I get my strength from my faith.”
Mike Hoots, minister at the Homestead Church of Christ, said Mitchell is one of his most resourceful parishioners.
“We have closed down so many social services in this country that it ends up falling back on the head of the family, on women like Hortense who not only lack the financial means but the expertise to deal with the various issues confronting them,” Hoots said. “She finds a way, whether it’s a broken refrigerator her landlord won’t fix or a mentally ill daughter. She draws her energy from the Lord.”
The church, which is holding socially distanced roundtable sessions in lieu of traditional services during the pandemic, is one of Mitchell’s sanctuaries — as is her car, where she sometimes retreats for 15-minute breaks to listen to the radio.
“Hortense will get her reward when she goes to heaven,” said Richards, her mother. “Her satisfaction comes from seeing her family happy, healthy and safe.”
While Mitchell made dinner on a recent weeknight, the girls ran around the cramped living room singing along to a spelling game on their tablet. Elaine played with her Elsa doll and Le’Shay opened a coloring book as Ray barked from his crate. When Mitchell took a rest on the sofa, both girls jumped into her lap. When Demi the baby is there, she cries whenever she’s not in Mitchell’s arms.
“They all have such different personalities,” said Mitchell, who has decorated the house with paintings of mountain scenes, coral-reef fish and a replica of Vincent Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” that she says remind her of Jamaica. “I try to teach them the right values, especially these days when kids can be so rude and irresponsible. It is up to me to guide them in a positive direction.”
For the holidays, Mitchell wishes for a hospital bed for her mother, who has sleep apnea and requires propping up on pillows. Mitchell needs new sheets and towels for the household. She could also use new kitchen supplies, such as pots and pans, utensils and storage containers.
The girls need clothes and shoes and would enjoy toys, puzzles and educational games. Mitchell’s daughter needs toiletries and hair products.
For Mitchell?
“Me? I have never been on a vacation, but it will have to be a vacation in my mind,” she said, laughing.
Mitchell loves to sew and although she doesn’t mention it, she could use a replacement for her old, unreliable sewing machine.
“With COVID, it’s going to be a challenging Christmas for everybody,” she said before the holiday. “I’m thankful that I’ve been able to keep my family together.”
HOW TO HELP
Wish Book is trying to help hundreds of families in need this year. To donate, pay securely at MiamiHerald.com/wishbook. For information, call 305376-2906 or email wishbook@miamiherald.com. (The most requested items are often laptops and tablets for school, furniture, and accessible vans) Read more at MiamiHerald.com/wishbook.