Circling back to a youthful approach can alter outlook

Despite George Bernard Shaw’s lament that “Youth is wasted on the young,” this need not always be true.

During one’s youth (teens up to mid-20s), it’s common to be somewhat mentally nearsighted. At this stage, most of us focus more on what’s right in front of us than what the future holds.

When young, we often overlook the connection between our actions in the present and their potential longer-term consequences. Neuroscience tells us this is because the youthful brain, particularly the prefrontal cortex (crucial in decision-making), has yet to reach optimal maturity. This is why middle-aged or older folks sometimes look back at their early life choices and wonder, “What was I thinking?”

However, as one grows more into true adulthood and acquires elements of what Zorba the Greek called “the full catastrophe” — meaning spouse, mortgage, kids, career, etc. — farsightedness replaces youthful myopia. There’s parenting, the college fund, house payments, career and hopeful imaginings about what could be achieved and experienced in one’s life.

The early stages of this farsighted period often produce a lot of fantasizing, mostly dreams of some future largesse, stellar achievement or copacetic situation. Often, these hopes are a source of motivation that drives one forward in life.

Nonetheless, when your mental eye is focused on the temporal horizon, it’s easy to overlook what’s available in the here and now. In contrast to youth, during this life phase, many have a diminished capacity to live in the moment and relish the blessings in front of them. Later in life, those who fell prey to this tendency may lament not having been truly present for their loved ones, particularly children. At this life stage, there can be an underlying sense that one possesses an abundance of time. Often, the dark line of death is still below the arc of one’s vision into the future.

Which is why, when death finally comes into view, farsightedness diminishes rapidly, eventually taking a back seat to nearsightedness once again. Lofty dreams and idyllic fantasies fade as the arc of time inevitably shortens.

This loss of big dreams can be disorienting. This is particularly true for those who have shaped most of their adult lives around executing an agenda focused on the future.

But, for others, being older brings a renewed opportunity to return to the spontaneity and live-for-today perspective of youth, but without the impulsivity and poor judgment that’s too often thrown in. While future possibilities are fewer and more pragmatic, the richness and meaning of the present can more than compensate.

And this, in turn, often catalyzes a renewal of one’s sense of purpose and meaning. Attributes like kindness, gratitude, being of service, forgiveness, playfulness and spirituality can become more prominent in one’s consciousness and in how one’s life is lived.

This potential “second youth” is a state of mind incorporating youthful nearsightedness but with the addition of wisdom derived from growing older.

As Picasso said, “It takes a very long time to become young.”