‘Love nest’ tale ruffles feathers
3 women said they were wronged wife
Editor’s note: Sometimes, Ione Quinby Griggs’ advice column in The Milwaukee Journal Green Sheet stumbled into a situation bigger than it looked. In a Dec. 30, 1959, column, a reader asked whether she should tell her neighbor about her husband’s “love nest”; at least three readers wrote in, saying they were the wife being left behind. The husband’s reply, if there was one, never made it into print.
The first column:
Mrs. Griggs: Several weeks ago while visiting a friend, who lives in a very nice apartment building, I was surprised to see our neighbor’s car parked in the apartment garage. Because of the circumstances I later rechecked on the license number. When I mentioned the car to my apartment friend, she laughed and said, “Oh, that goes with the ‘love nest.’ He is here regularly. I think it’s been going on for a long time, but the rent is paid and they don’t bother anyone so the superintendent plays blind.”
Honestly, Mrs. Griggs, I was speechless. That evening when I told my husband, he only smiled and said, “He has always chased around!” I think it is terrible! His wife seems to be such a nice woman. I think she should know. …
Should I tell her? We are only neighbors, but I wouldn’t hesitate if it should be the right thing to do.
— Another Wife Another Wife: You are likely to stir up a “hornet’s nest” if you uncover the “love nest” to the wife, and it may cause pain and do no good. She probably wouldn’t thank you for telling her. Look at it this way: If the husband has been “chasing” for a long time, it is inconceivable that the wife hasn’t caught on. The relationship between a married couple is too close for a wife to be entirely blind to an outside love interest.
It may be she likes most of the life her husband provides for her, is willing to close her eyes to his weakness, because of other features of their life together and family joys with the children and grandchildren. She may not be aware of this particular “love nest,” but don’t you be the one to tell her! If the husband reads this and recognizes the situation I suggest that he search his mind and heart and compare the rewards of the “love nest” to his home, also see how he is disgracing his family. — I.Q.G.
A Jan. 18, 1960, column, included letters from two women saying they could be the wife the “love nest” husband was neglecting.
Mrs. Griggs: I think I am the wife in the “love nest” story you publicized. I have known for months there was a “nest.” My husband couldn’t take me out, or buy me clothes, because he “had no money.” People have thrown me hints, but I need only the missing, final link. There has been so much lying. I can’t take any more. If he wants a divorce, he can have it. …
— Still Another Wife Still Another Wife: If the husband reads this, I urge him to face up to the situation and compare benefits of the “back-door romance” with the home that may be broken. Meantime, show spunk and don’t give up without doing everything possible to win back your husband’s allegiance and love.
— I.Q.G. Mrs. Griggs: The cheating husband with the “love nest” could be mine. He will go out right from work, not coming home until the following night. Sometimes he’s gone three nights a week, so that I’m only a half-a-week wife. I would appreciate news of where he goes, and would even give a large reward for information. …
— Broken Hearted Wife Broken Hearted Wife: Per-
haps you could outwit this woman by outdoing her in flattering your husband. Try it for the next couple of months and see what happens. You hold the aces, as you still are his wife and the beloved children and grandchildren are yours and his. — I.Q.G.
In a Feb. 2, 1960, column, a letter surfaced from a third reader saying she was the wronged woman.
Mrs. Griggs: This is an answer to the “love nest” story. And, let me state I am aware of the one in question and have known about it for some time. It hasn’t been necessary for me to get information from neighbors. To the woman my husband spends his Wednesday nights with (and weekends most of the time), let me say: There are many things you should know about him that you obviously don’t know. …
Get and keep a good-paying job, because he likes expensive things — new cars, the best in clothes, books, cameras, records, etc. Work in case he decides he needs more schooling. (I know, because I worked while he went to college for four years and took some other studies.) … Be ready to make love on the spot, whether you are in the middle of putting up screens or getting ready to rush to work. …
I could go on and on with advice to you, but maybe it would be best for you to learn the hard way. You are to be pitied! — I Know About
the Love Nest! I Know About the Love Nest!: I am glad to publish your letter.
— I.Q.G.