Stingl: What are the adverse effects of Foxconn?
You’ve seen those commercials on TV that spend half the time touting the miraculous benefits of some wonder drug and the other half warning of horrendous possible side effects.
I’d like to see the Foxconn deal pitched like Chantix, Lyrica and Viagra, with all the disclaimers:
Taiwan-based Foxconn Technology Group has agreed to build a $10 billion plant in Wisconsin, spread out over 1,000 acres, probably in Racine or Kenosha county, and open by 2020. (Ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for news this sexy. Then ask the people of Pennsylvania what happened to the Foxconn factory they were promised a few years ago.)
The announcement came at ceremonies last week at the White House and in Milwaukee. (For press conferences lasting more than four hours, seek an immediate exit.)
“This is a great day for American workers and manufacturers and everyone who believes in the concept and the label, ‘Made in the USA,’” President Donald Trump said last Wednesday. (Two of his own American workers, Reince Priebus and Anthony Scaramucci, have experienced serious, sometimes fatal job losses in the meantime.)
Foxconn plans to hire an astounding 13,000 workers to make screens for the smart phones, televisions and other electronics we love. (Your results may vary. They will start with 3,000. Some swelling may occur, but we’ll see if the number ever gets to 13,000, not counting the robots this company favors.)
Average pay for these workers is said to be $53,875 plus benefits. (Does that sound surprisingly high to anyone else at a time when people are marching in the streets for a bump up to $15 per hour? I may trust my heart to Lipitor someday, but I’m not sure I believe Foxconn will cough up that kind of money when they’re accustomed to paying far lower wages overseas.)
Thousands and thousands more workers will be required to build the plant and provide supplies that Foxconn needs to operate. A housing boom in the area also is predicted. (Skepticism can lower your ability to believe everything you hear. Suck lemons and call your doctor in the morning.)
Wisconsin stands ready to give Foxconn $3 billion in tax breaks and annual payments as an incentive to pick us over another state. (Common side effects from hearing a number that high may include dizziness, nausea, loose stools, claw back syndrome, and a recurring dream that Chris Christie is scolding you at a baseball game.)
The Legislature plans to take quick action on measures to exempt this huge project from an environmental impact statement, and to allow the discharge of dredged materials into wetlands without state permits. (Clinical studies have shown that large corporations, left unchecked, do not always respect the environment. If you thought your moderate to severe psoriasis was bad, try some China-style pollution.)
Giddy politicians see this Foxconn deal as a game changer. “This is something that will say to the world, ‘We have arrived,’” said Gov. Scott Walker, who has already started calling the southeastern corner of the state the Wisconn Valley. (Residents who are pregnant or may become pregnant should resist naming their child Wisconn just in case our state is not magically transformed into a high tech hub.)
Who knows? The Foxconn miracle may happen exactly as promised and give Wisconsin an enormous economic boost for many years to come. (And if it does, I’ll ignore medical advice and eat my words.)