A pitch for equality

Politicians pat themselves on their backs for ending the government shutdown while actors and musicians do the same during their award shows. Aren’t they all just doing their jobs? What other occupations receive this much self-adoration? Certainly not teachers, waitresses or morticians. The absurd disparity in recognition of public figures vs. regular people would appear to an alien race as a noteworthy topic for study in human behavior.

Politicians are like children. They argue, pick sides like kids deciding dodgeball teams and bully each other like kids with absentee parenting. Freshman politicians are like innocent 5-year-olds, bright-eyed, wanting to learn, make a difference and resist the corruption of maturity. However, like children, politicians taste the benefits of their new environment. Kids have potty jokes; politicians make backroom deals.

Actors and musicians are like sixth graders. They establish identities, fantasy personas, many change their names to give themselves an aura of intrigue. They continue their “craft” far beyond their prime only to become a withered caricature of their former selves.

I’m thankful I’m not a politician, actor, musician, teacher, waitress, or mortician, but if I had to be any of them, I would choose mortician. In the end, we’re all equal at last.

Phillip Petit

Wild Rose