Caregivers of mentally ill need own safeguards

When I began working in the mental health field, my father posed what seemed a ludicrous question.

“Will you catch it?” he asked, “it” being mental illness.

Stifling a snicker, I replied, “Pop, it’s not contagious.”

Obviously, mental illness is not a communicable disease. But real life suggests it’s not that simple.

Emotions, which underpin mental well-being, are contagious for many of us. The mode of transmission is entirely psychological, but, like catching a cold or flu, close contact is involved.

For example, research shows when a good friend becomes happier, your happiness is more likely to increase. Inversely, if someone in your household becomes depressed, your mood is more likely to sour.

Not surprisingly, those least at risk for emotional contagion are folks with little empathy, or none (think sociopaths and narcissists). However, while protected from absorbing negative emotions from others, they don’t soak up positive ones either.

Even empathic folks are at lower risk of emotional contagion if their lives don’t revolve around caring for others. Exposure matters.

So, caregivers (parents, medical professionals, counselors, first responders, ministers, etc.) are at greatest risk for burnout and compassion fatigue, which stem from negative emotional contagion. The more empathic a caregiver, the more likely she or he will suffer these maladies.

So, how can empathic caregivers lower their risk? Well, let’s contrast two strategies psychotherapists use to build rapport with their clients. 1 Mentally project one’s self into the person’s situation (“walk a mile in her shoes”). This form of mental association requires connecting with one’s own painful experiences or suffering, past or present, in order to feel the other person’s distress. The result: “I feel your pain.”

2 Listen to and understand the person from a psychological perspective (carefully contemplating their situation but not identifying too closely with it emotionally). This is a form of mental dissociation. The result: “I get your pain, but I don’t feel it.”

Obviously, the second strategy is more protective of the caregiver. Repeatedly accessing the repository of one’s own emotional distress to better understand someone else’s pain can prove mentally corrosive over time.

What’s more, creating an emotional buffer between caregiver and care recipient may also prove more helpful for the latter. Why?

Empathic caregivers who associate too strongly with the other person’s distress impede their capacity to be helpful. Their own emotionality may diminish their ability to offer perspective or provide alternative ways of understanding and responding to the situation at hand.

Fair enough, but highly empathic caregivers (“empaths”) struggle to emotionally dissociate from others who are suffering. Only through consistent self-care (nature interaction, journaling, meditation, exercise, etc.) can they hope to avoid emotional contagion and its debilitating consequences.

So, while mental illness is not contagious, keeping our heads while caring for those in distress requires safeguarding our hearts.