‘Victory in motion’
Widow with 9 kids now a college grad
This story about Bridgett Wilder did not come to me from Bridgett herself or even from Mount Mary University where she just graduated.
Someone who doesn’t know Bridgett but heard her commencement address sent me an email saying you have to share this woman’s remarkable journey and accomplishments.
“Bridgett talked about becoming a widow at 36 with nine children. The oldest was 16 and the youngest was 4 months. There was a loud collective gasp in the gym,” wrote Kathleen Callan Brady, who was there for her own daughter’s graduation.
“I refused to give up,” Bridgett, now 45, said in that same speech. “I stand tall. I stand strong. I am victory in motion.”
Besides finishing college with a degree in dietetics, this busy Milwaukee mother also has started a business, Perseverance Health and Wellness Coaching, and is working on a book about her life and faith called, “Why Me? A Question I Refuse to Ask God.”
Her plan is to use dietetics to draw
in women who want to lose weight and be healthier. But she also will help them see the role that mental and emotional factors play in their physical well-being and everyday lives.
“How am I going to love you if I can’t love myself? How can I feed my family well if I’m eating bad? And if I’m always depressed, how can I get out of bed to make sure the kids get to school? How can I encourage my kids that they can get through college if I’m staying stuck in a cycle of dependency?” she said when we sat down for an interview.
These are questions she faced in her own life.
Born and raised in Milwaukee and a graduate of Vincent High School, Bridgett met Wilson Anthony Wilder at church and they married young in 1992. Their first child was born the following year and nine more followed over 15 years.
Their daughter Beatrice had leukodystrophy, a progressive disease of the brain that left her unable to walk or talk. She died at age 6 in 2006.
Wilson lived with cardiovascular disease diagnosed when he was in his 20s. He continued to work in the heating and air conditioning construction business until the day he died of heart failure at age 37 in 2009.
His death came at the family’s home near 5th and Center streets in Milwaukee. Oldest daughter, Briana, 21, remembers her brother looking up at their mom that night and asking what they were going to do.
“She said, ‘Trust God.’ She carried that through the whole entire journey,” Briana told me.
But Bridgett found herself in despair and overwhelmed by the demands of adding all the tasks her husband used to do. She had to overcome many fears, including driving on the freeway and using a computer. After a few years, she lost the house and for a short while she and her children were homeless.
Some folks reacted to her differently as a single mother with nine children. “I had people say, ‘All your kids have the same last name?’ “Like this was so shocking to them. That hurt.
Her church pitched in to help her. And her kids became her biggest support system. “My children would say,
It took seven years to graduate, but she did it. In July, she takes her registered dietician exam and she’s on her way. Her older children have gone on to college and jobs, and the younger ones will follow.
‘Mom, you have come too far to quit.’ They’d see me break. They were pushing me. I’m proud of them,” Bridgett said.
During the years when her daughter and husband were both ill, Bridgett’s weight rose to 300 pounds, causing her to develop diabetes. Among her many victories in life is that she has lost more than 130 pounds and is healthier now and aware of how she had used food to ease stress and fill emotional holes.
In 2011, Bridgett enrolled at Mount Mary. “I was introduced to vision, my vision, a vision of overcoming and creating a new start for my family through education,” she told her fellow graduates. The demands of college, especially as she squeezed it all in while working, were challenging. Bridgett was the only African-American student in the dietetics program. And she was significantly older than her classmates.
Cynthia Dostal, who chairs the dietetics department, said she views Bridgett as someone who can link people in society who need to understand each other better.
“Many faculty and staff and alumnae came together to support Bridgett and guide her over the bridge of higher education. Now, it is time for Bridgett to build her own bridges. Her voice has only begun to be heard,” she said.
It took seven years to graduate, but she did it. In July, she takes her registered dietician exam and she’s on her way. Her older children have gone on to college and jobs, and the younger ones will follow.
To meet Bridgett Wilder is to be inspired by what’s possible in the face of tough odds.
“My desire,” she said on that glorious graduation day, “is to encourage you all to never give up.”
Contact Jim Stingl at (414) 224-2017 or jstingl@jrn.com. Connect with my public page at Facebook.com/Journalist.Jim.Stingl