Put down the smartphone and become more human

There is viral footage of a photographer sitting on the roadside in a park taking pics of a bull elk.

This is abjectly risky behavior, of course. At their peril, many Americans seem to think nature is something akin to Disney World or a petting zoo. Not.

Anyway, what transpires is the elk begins to engage this guy, lowering its head and pushing its antlers against his shoulders. He is on the verge of a rutting battle and doesn’t realize it, and rather than taking some action (e.g., stand up, back away, etc.), he remains seated and takes his punishment.

But that’s not the most remarkable thing. What stands out is that multiple observers in close proximity did nothing to assist this man of poor judgment. Instead, they pulled out their smartphones and began recording the event. Hence the viral footage.

This is a metaphor for one of the most disturbing and damaging aspects of our romance with information technology. We are losing the common sense, learned wisdom and empathy that come from populating one’s day with primary experiences.

Stay with me here. Primary experiences are those involving direct sensory communication, such as face-toface conversation. There is no digital conduit.

There is considerable evidence from developmental psychology that primary experiences are critical to the social maturation of a child. Unless we interact with other people directly and often, we fail to develop the prosocial behaviors that hold a community together. The only way to learn how to be with other people in a civil and caring manner is to spend more time with them than one’s smartphone or tablet.

Today, we are witnessing a precipitous decline in primary experiences and the emotional intelligence they create. In their place, increasingly we engage in secondary ones, those mediated by the electronic device in use at the time. The impact is dehumanizing, meaning we fail to acquire the full capacity for empathy, kindness and connection.

Now, back to the elk and photographer. I posit that one of the reasons the observers left him to the mercy of the bull was because of this phenomenon. In the minds of these people, I suspect, this event seemed less real. If you watch much of life on a screen, it warps your capacity to accurately perceive the real world.

I see this frequently on my wilderness treks. Other hikers are so busy recording what is around them, mostly on smartphones, that they don’t fully enjoy what is taking place. They are not “in” the experience. They are looking “at” the experience.

Psychoanalyst Fritz Perls called this “aboutism.” It involves creating something about the experience (photo, memento, video, etc.) rather than fully immersing one’s self in it. It’s the difference between having an experience firsthand or once removed.

The overarching concern is that the less we interact with each other and the natural world through primary experiences, the more we become disconnected and desensitized.

So, when we see someone in distress, we should pocket the phone and be a real person.

Philip Chard is a psychotherapist, author and trainer. Email Chard at outofmymind@philipchard.com or visit philipchard.com.