5 ways to get everyone talking

Here are five different ways to get family mealtime conversation going. But, watch out, everyone might be so busy talking that they forget to eat.

Story time: “Once on a dark and gloomy night…”

This is a time-honored beginning to a “circle story” in which each family member adds to the tale, said storyteller Terry Visger, who gives performances and workshops around Wisconsin. A former elementary school teacher, she also has taught storytelling at both the undergraduate and graduate levels, including at Viterbo University and the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse.

Visger spins out lots of other ideas for mealtime stories and conversation — talking about favorite vacations, recounting earliest memories, conjecturing about why kangaroos have pockets, or thinking up new endings for fairy tales.

Limit the time for each person to talk to about two or three minutes.

“If you’ve got a 4-year-old at the table, they could go on for quite a while,” she said with a laugh. “And if the story becomes fantastical, just let it go” without interjecting a reality check.

One thing to remember is that kids love to hear “parents tell stories about their past — especially embarrassing stories,” she said.

You can see Visger at the upcoming La Crosse Story Festival, which takes place on Sept. 7 and 8. (Visger lives in La Crescent, Minn., just across the river from La Crosse.)

The well-worded question: “What are five words that would describe your day today?” or “Name three things that happened today that made you smile?”

Those are favorite conversation starters for blogger Alice Choi.

“This gets everyone talking — and kids also like to be given a number of things to list,” she said. “You want to find out about their day without just asking ‘How was your day?’ ”

Other thought-provoking, giggle-producing questions: If you were invisible, where would you go? What do you like most about your mother/father/brother/sister? If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? If your pet could talk, what would it say?

She has found that taking turns with questions like these is a great way for young children to practice listening and speaking — “and everyone gets creative.”

Fun and games: “My 9-year old wanted to play a board game, so we put Harry Potter Clue in the middle of the table and played for a week,” said DeRosa. “We used smaller plates and put the food on the counter in the kitchen, so people helped themselves.”

Short of having a game as the centerpiece, you might want to play what she calls the “accent game” where each person speaks in a different accent — someone is from England, someone is a pirate, maybe someone else sounds like a football player.

Another possibility is the 20-second interview — or make it longer if you want — where the idea is to ask, and have a family member answer, as many simple “or” questions as possible in the allotted time.

So, the interviewer will fire the often-silly questions — Vanilla or chocolate? Maple syrup or a dolphin? Inside or out? Sock or no socks?

To keep score, you can have a third person keep track of how many questions are given before the timer goes off.

For young children, “I’m going on a picnic and I’m going to bring…” is an alphabet game where the first person completes the sentence with a word beginning with “A,” then the second person repeats what the first person said and adds a “B” word, and so on.

You’ll find descriptions of these games, as well as dozens of others at

Dinnertime playlist: Taking turns picking the music to play during dinner helps keeps things lively.

DeRosa said, for example, that one evening they ended up listening to “Sunday Bloody Sunday” by U2 and it resulted in an “in-depth conversation about Irish history — something I would never have thought of talking about.”

It’s yummy, right? If you have a have a thick skin, you might want to try a new recipe and ask each family member to “review” it.

To avoid “it’s yucky” reviews from the picky eaters in the crowd, it’s a good idea to have cards for each person to fill out. What ingredients do you recognize? What do you like best about it? What would you change about the recipe?

Or just take turns and have family members describe their favorite dish in the world — and say what they like about it.

Sometimes Choi, in keeping with her emphasis on healthy eating, asks her daughters to name the food groups they see on the plate.

She also says that having kids help with meal preparation, “chopping if they are old enough to use a knife, stirring or setting the table,” helps them feel more a part of dinner and more interested in trying — and discussing — new foods.

DeRosa seconds that thought, adding that enlisting kids to do some of the preparation is especially important for single parents. She notes that even young children can make something like English muffin pizza.

Just be sure to offer a positive review of whatever they cook.