Harassment is not protected ‘free speech’ in workplace

Janet was with some co-workers when a male colleague referred to the women in their organization as “the babes.” Although she bristled at what had become a long line of similarly insensitive remarks in her workplace, she let it pass.

Later, another employee made a joke containing racial and sexist slurs, something he’d done previously on several occasions without any protest from those nearby. Something in her snapped.

“I took him aside and said I felt uncomfortable with those kinds of comments and asked him to be more respectful,” she told me.

His response was odiously predictable.

He told Janet she needed to “grow a thicker skin,” accused her of “not being able to take a joke” and added, “Everyone else was OK with it.” When she pushed back, he told her to “lighten up” and walked away.

Rattled, she went to her supervisor, where she received a similar response (“chill out”).

“Basically, they told me to zip my lip and just put up with it,” she concluded.

In today’s mudslinging social and media environments, many of those called on the carpet for insensitive or demeaning remarks about other persons or groups claim they are victims of hypersensitive critics intoxicated by political correctness. Rather than reflecting on their own behavior and how it might harm those who don’t find their remarks funny or appropriate, they double down on their right to be rude and insensitive.

This scenario often devolves into a question of whose rights will prevail: that of the offender to say whatever he or she wishes, or the right of the offended to work or live in an environment that isn’t offensive, intimidating or emotionally hostile?

Well, at least in the workplace, the law maintains that “free speech” doesn’t include harassment. Nonetheless, more than a few employers have found themselves in court for looking the other way when offensive behavior emerged within their workforce.

Problem is, the offenders have one powerful thing on their side. Over 90 percent of instances of harassment in the workplace go unreported. The victims fear retaliation (also illegal), losing their jobs or being socially ostracized.

So, who gets to determine when being rude and insensitive crosses the line and becomes harassment constituting a legal or regulatory violation? Well, in general, it is the victims themselves.

Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so too is ugliness.

What may seem like a harmless joke to one person can sound like an insult to another. Which is why something like political correctness, maligned as it is by some, represents a necessary response to the growing incivility in our culture.

Sure, most of us have blurted out a thoughtless and insensitive remark without consciously intending to do so. However, once made aware of this miscue, the choice is ours — apologize and be more sensitive to others, or let rudeness rule the day.

As for the those who revel in their insensitivity, wearing it like a badge of honor, consider philosopher Eric Hoffer’s perspective.

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”

Philip Chard is a psychotherapist, author and trainer. Email Chard at outofmymind@philipchard.com or visit philipchard.com.