Adoptive parent can’t stand other uses of the word ‘adopt’
Adapted from a recent online discussion.
Dear Carolyn: I am an adoptive parent, and we strive to use healthy language when referring to adoption related things – for example, not “giving up a child” but “placing a child for adoption.”
Today, our society has grown accustomed to talking about all kinds of things being adopted – animals from a shelter, child/family around the holidays for financial/gift support, etc. It has gotten to where it drives me bonkers.
Right now, there are signs all over my office about the families my company has “adopted.” I am contemplating approaching human resources and/or the organizer about how misguided this use of terminology is. What do you think?
– Stop Saying “Adopt”
Please don’t, because the terminology isn’t wrong, and arguably isn’t even harmful to the usage you want to protect.
It’s correct usage to adopt a language, adopt a dog, adopt a style, adopt a habit.
And adopt a child. It’s a busy word. And not because society has grown accustomed to it “today,” but because it has many legitimate meanings and uses.
The precision of language that you cite is really important in framing the adoption of a child as an act of love, not rejection. And yay for that insightful distinction. But please don’t follow that excellent logic down an emotional path the facts don’t support. To adopt a family at Christmastime, for example, is to embrace them or take them on as a cause, which is not only dictionary-appropriate, it’s an act of humanity and love.
Dear Carolyn: Tiny little quandary here. I received an invitation to my nephew’s wedding yesterday. The verse from Ecclesiastes 4, “a cord of three strands is not easily broken,” was printed on the back of it, but “cord” was misspelled “chord.” It’s too late to correct that, of course. I am an English major, but I do not correct anyone’s spelling and grammar unless my work requires it or I’m asked to proofread something. I’m not in the habit of correcting spelling and grammar on social media, and I’m certainly not going to be fault-finding auntie and point out the error with my note to R.S.V.P.
However, I did wonder if the same verse will be printed on the bulletins on the day of the wedding, and, if so, if it would be a courtesy to let my nephew and his fiance know now in order to save them some minor public embarrassment later. It seems like it’s equivalent to advising someone they have something between their teeth or their zipper is unzipped: useful to have it brought to one’s attention if it’s easily fixed or avoided. I was thinking about giving the information through his older sister, who I am closest to. Does this seem reasonable, or would it still be a jerk move?
– Auntie Spelling Champ
Technically, it’s equivalent to advising people they may get spinach in their teeth if they decide to each spinach in six months.
Say nothing. I’m sorry. We English major’s must endure so much.
(Joke. Deliberate. Don’t.)
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