Holiday gifts for your loved ones

Editor’s note: Due to popular demand, the following column is being reprinted.

Today’s column is not about making a gift of your assets as an estate tax planning tool. It is not about making gifts to your favorite charity to achieve a charitable deduction on your income tax return. It is about something that cannot be measured in dollars. It is about peace of mind.

Through my many years of practice, I have observed that, in general, one spouse takes charge of the financial operations of the household. With each passing anniversary, the “nonfinancial” spouse tends to rely more and more on the financial spouse. Accordingly, the financial spouse will rely on the nonfinancial spouse to fulfill the other responsibilities of the household.

Too often, I find myself opposite a recently widowed nonfinancial spouse. Not only is this person experiencing enormous grief, having just lost their life’s partner, but they now have the added stress created by financial uncertainty — the deceased financial spouse did not leave behind any instructions: Where are the life insurance policies? Whom do I call? What is in the safe deposit box? Where is the box key? How should I invest the life insurance proceeds? Should I pay off the mortgage? Where are all the investments? What about Social Security benefits? What about taxes? Where should I seek advice? So many questions that could have been easily answered. If only we took the time. If only we stopped procrastinating. If only we accepted the adage that death and taxes are inevitable. If only… If the above situation applies to you and you are a financial spouse, give your loved one a gift of peace of mind. Create a step-by-step instruction document for your spouse in the event of your death or incapacity. Pretend you are looking down from above, instructing and educating your spouse as to all your financial duties. Do so with minute detail, taking nothing for granted. Do so with love and compassion.

If you are a nonfinancial spouse, cut out this column and have your loved one read it. Then, tape it to the refrigerator door until the gift is delivered.

Happy holidays to all!