Mom won’t give up control
: My mom lives a few states away and I am her only child. She needs help with management of her day-to-day finances and it is too difficult for me since I live so far away. She has worked with our family lawyer and accountant for years and they are happy to help. She is refusing that help. She thinks she is fine and does not want to give up control. I am worried she may get taken advantage of, scammed or miss important payments like life insurance premiums or tax payments on her home. What can we do to get her to give up this part of her life? A
: It is understandable that seniors are reluctant to let go of their independence. Think about it, seniors may need to give up mobility due to physical challenges or they could be denied renewal of their driver’s license which feels like a loss of the ability to come and go as they wish. You are hoping your mom will turn over her finances to a professional but, without your help, she may not recognize her own vulnerability.
This may be a good time for you, your mom and her advisors to brainstorm various solutions that will preserve her feeling of independence and still keep her safe. Maybe the accountant can review her finances with her on a quarterly basis? This would catch any of the big issues like insurance and taxes. As time goes by, Mom may feel more comfortable letting the accountant do more of the day-to-day. You should point out to dear mom that she has a strong team in place. This is a team she intentionally built over the years because she trusts and relies upon them. Let her enjoy as much independence as she can, but also emphasize the benefits of taking advantage of the safety net she put into place so long ago. Q
: My sister and I are beneficiaries of my mom’s trust and I am trustee. The lawyer says we need to wait four months to receive anything from the trust in case there is a trust contest. As I said, my sister and I get everything and are willing to sign something, if needed, that we are in agreement with mom’s trust. The lawyer says no, we must wait the four months. What gives? A
: When someone dies and their estate is to be distributed by way of a trust agreement, the trustee sends out a “Notification of Trustee” which starts a 120-day “contest” period. This period allows anyone, not just you and your sister, to present a contest to the trust. Yes, you and your sister may be in agreement with the trust terms, but what if shortly before her death your mom decided to make a change to her trust and provide a distribution to a friend or other relative?
If your lawyer allows you and your sister to take the trust assets before the period has expired and the friend or relative then pres
ents a valid amendment, you and your sister might need to return assets. This is tricky because if you and your sis have spent or otherwise invested your inheritance,
the funds may not be available to return. Overall, it is best to let that period run. That way, you extinguish the possibility of a new trust or a trust contest being presented, once and for all.
Liza Horvath has over 30 years of experience in the
estate planning and trust fields and is a licensed professional fiduciary. Liza currently serves as president of Monterey Trust Management. This is not intended to be legal or tax advice. If you have a question, call (831) 646-5262 or email liza@ montereytrust.com