Found money raises privacy questions

DEAR AMY >> I was doing a deep clean in our bedroom, dusting and going through clothes to donate, vacuuming, etc.

My husband’s bureau is stacked high with papers and much more.

I decided to move and remove everything on top to dust.

In a box, three envelopes with large sums of money fell out.

I put the envelopes back in the box and finished dusting.

He was visibly furious when he came home: “Why did you touch my stuff, where is it...?!”

He stomped off downstairs.

I didn’t mention the money that night.

The next morning before work, he removed the money. I know this because I started moving his belongings and the box was empty.

He called later in the day and I mentioned, “Hey, did you hit the lottery?”

He responded, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

A few days later we were talking about purchasing a new appliance.

I again asked about the money.

He told me his privacy had been invaded. This kind of threw me off.

I left it at that.

I have no idea what I should be saying/doing at this point.

Your view would be appreciated.

— Confused

DEAR CONFUSED >> You and your husband seem to have a cat-and-mouse style of communicating. You describe the issue obliquely; he roars at you, you back off.

I suggest that you say these words: “Honey, as you know, I discovered three envelopes containing a large amount of cash. I believe I have a right to know what that’s about, and I know that if the situation were reversed, you would feel exactly the same way.”

Partners definitely have the right to privacy, but the top of (versus inside of) a bureau is not a private space.

Your husband may continue to aggressively evade your question and refuse to tell you about this cash. If so, you should table the topic, doublecheck any joint accounts or retirement accounts, and make sure your own finances are secure.

DEAR AMY >> Yes, there is a definitive answer regarding whether to leave a toilet seat up or down.

The answer is ... down. If there is a lid, that should be put down, also.

How many of us have fished our cellphones out of toilets?