How to stand up to people who bully friends at school

Dear Annie: I go to school and often see some of my classmates teasing my classmates and friends. The victims always look very uncomfortable, and whenever the teasers are told to stop, they give the excuse, “I’m just joking. Calm down.” I try to tell them to stop whenever I can but only find myself being able to speak if one of my friends is the one being teased. I’m too timid to say anything if someone I don’t know is on the receiving end of these “jokes”. What can I do in order for this to stop?

Shy

Dear Shy: They’re bullying and hiding behind the guise of joking, which makes them cruel and cowardly all at once.

I encourage you to jump in to say something the next time you see them picking on a classmate. I know it’s not easy to stand up to mean popular kids — but you, my friend, are braver than you realize. You’ve already stood up to these jokers on behalf of your friends, which is more than many of us ever manage to do. The bullies may try to retaliate against you at first, but stay strong. They’re weak, and they’ll eventually back down. And the classmates you defend?

Even if they don’t manage to voice their gratitude, they’ll remember you.

For more information on what to do about bullying, visit https://www.stopbullying.gov.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Mind Your Manners, Please,” a woman who was incensed over a screaming child in public.

My wife and I have a child who is 3 years old and in the autism spectrum. He often has issues in certain situations that would be beyond any parent’s control.

Maybe “Mind Your Manners, Please” should have some sympathy. Chances are the child she wrote about suffers from some mental challenges.

RW

Dear RW: The mothers I surveyed defended the parents whose child was screaming, so there may be more empathetic people out there than you think. But I want to print your letter, as it offers a valuable perspective. When we feel ourselves rushing to judgment, we should apply the brakes.