Empathy changes your world

The secret ingredient in happiness, health, community, achievement, heck — even in a good meal — is care. And you can’t have real care without empathy. That’s the ability to not just sympathize but to actually see a situation or circumstance from another’s point of view.

Fortunately, recent research shows that empathy can be taught — and learned. The brain processes that allow for and are evoked by empathy are hardwired — we can choose to use them to “internally imitate” others and mirror their feelings as our own.

— Pay attention to your own feelings. If you are out of touch with yourself, it’s going to be hard to get in touch with someone else’s emotions. Keep a journal and record your thoughts.

Think about your mind-body connection.

— Notice another person’s positive emotions, not just the negative ones. Empathy with another’s happiness is as important as empathy with sorrow or anger.

— Find opportunities to engage with people who are different from you and who you do not know well. Research shows that it is actually learning about the other person’s perspective that increases empathy.

— Don’t just listen, watch. Take time every day, on the commuter train, in a meeting, eating lunch at a diner or in a group of friends, to notice people’s facial expressions and body language.

You’ll find that as your ability to empathize grows, your sense of connection to the world at large, to your community and your own family members and friends will deepen and become comforting — a true virtual hug. And while empathizing may intensify your own emotions, it also eases your distress at seeing someone else suffer by making it understandable and shared. It also helps you manage your own fear that a similar situation may happen to you and you would be unattended.

Mehmet Oz, M.D. is host of “The Dr. Oz Show,” and Mike Roizen, M.D. is Chief Wellness Officer and Chair of Wellness Institute at Cleveland Clinic. To live your healthiest, tune into “The Dr. Oz Show” or visit www.sharecare. com.