Truth for preschoolers and politicians

I’ve been obsessed with truth since age 2— or so I’m told. So it’s hardly surprising that I’m crazed by certain Republican leaders’ Trump-complicit lies (and silence) about the fairness of the election. Their pandemic-minimizing behavior is sickening in all senses.

The ease with which they risk our lives and democracy is remarkable. By all reliable accounts, they know better. Even as a preschooler I spoke truth to power and faced the consequences bravely. For example:

▶ Upon learning the truth about Santa, I outed the Santa stranger in my Bronx preschool: We all boycotted “Santa” because we weren’t supposed to take candy from strangers. The teacher chastised me and called in my parents, claiming I ruined Christmas for all those kids ( so not true). My parents backed me up for trying to save lives.

▶★earing a hurricane was coming, I warned my kindergarten classmates to be careful: Trees might fall on us! The teacher chastised me for scaring the class. My parents got called in and again defended my life-saving intentions.

In my mind, everyone needed to know the truth: These were life-and-death matters. And though I suffered sharp rebuke, I stood firm, secure in knowing I did the right thing back then.

So why can’t every GOP leader do the right thing now? With lives at stake, it’s hard to fathom such lack of courage to speak the truth (and wear masks). Maybe these politicians’ parents didn’t back them up, when they got in trouble with the teacher for telling the truth?

Pennsylvania Attorney General Josh Shapiro, referring to the 17 Republican

State Attorneys General who signed onto the Texas Attorney-General-led Supreme Court lawsuit, stated, “I don't know if I need to send you a surgeon to examine your spine or a psychiatrist to examine your head.”

Spine surgeons maybe — but definitely not psychiatrists. This is a moral matter, and it requires moral courage. Antianxiety therapeutics won’t help. Required here is basic morality, the kind preschoolers have: Tell the truth out loud even when the teacher (President Trump) chastises you.

Psychologists have discerned that preschooler moral development is more advanced than once thought. Not only do preschoolers respond to consequences for rulebreaking, they also demonstrate rudiments of empathy and fair-play— characteristics seen in neither Trump nor his enablers.

For example, in a video a preschool girl removes her mask to get a bit of binky relief. Then she put her mask back on. Unlike many political leaders, she knew how to cope with stress without risking the well-being of others. A baby put his mask back on after each bite of a cookie!

With stop-the-insanity calls even from fellow Republican politicians still falling on some deaf ears, an alternative approach is needed. Time to bring in the big-guns: preschool and elementaryschool teachers. How pitch-perfect that our excellent incoming Secretary of EducationMiguel Cardona once taught fourth grade!

Famously brilliant teacher Mr. Rogers insisted that children be told the truth in ways that thoughtfully acknowledged their fears, no matter how scary the situation. Empathy and modeling encourage truthtelling in return.

Politicians who won’t admit the truth about the election fear the political consequences — they know that postpresidency, ex-President Trump will take his loyal base with him. They need help from those who can show them how to be brave.

I used a Mr. Rogers approach with fearful college students to good effect, by acknowledging their fear when calling on them in class: “No one dies if we (myself included) are mistaken, as long as our mistakes are honest.” My sister Roberta, who for 25 years was an elementaryschool speech therapist in Connecticut’s Region 16, rewarded 3-to-5-year-olds with stickers just for trying.

The problem is trickier for politicians whose Trump-complicit lies have emboldened Trump all the more, making telling the truth increasingly akin to political suicide. As Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell learned upon stating that Joe Biden is President-Elect, Trump is out for his head— and just may get it.

However daunting, we all must take to heart what preschoolers know: The more you’re scared to tell the truth about something, the more you need to tell it. If you don’t, you just might help create a monster even scarier than the truth — like a President who throws you under the bus, if you stop enabling his lies. Maybe it’s time to send timid politicians a Mr. Rogers DVD Set.

Barbara S. Held is the Barry N. Wish Professor of Psychology and Social Studies Emerita at Bowdoin College; Roberta J. Held was a Speech & Language Pathologist for Regional School District 16 in Connecticut.