Teen swears stepmother to secrecy

Dear Abby: My beautiful 17-year-old stepdaughter, “Amelia,” recently became sexually active. She’s in a “serious” relationship with the boy she had sex with. They have been together for six months, and from what she’s told me, they gave each other their virginity and protection was used. She has not disclosed this to her parents. My husband and Amelia are close, but she and her mom had a falling-out. Amelia pledged me to secrecy, and I immediately scheduled her to see an OB/GYN to get her on birth control.

Should I tell my husband? I feel awful not telling him, but she has told me she doesn’t want either of her parents to know. I’m grateful she comes to me for things like this, but eventually, it’s going to come out when my husband sees the explanation of benefits from the insurance.

Amelia’s mom and I have a solid relationship, and my husband and her mom also have a good one. I don’t want to keep secrets regarding their daughter, but I don’t want to betray my stepdaughter either. Please help.

Struggling Stepmom

Dear Stepmom: It isn’t necessary to betray your stepdaughter’s confidence to get her the help she needs. Go online to plannedparent hood.org, locate the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic and share that information with Amelia. The organization provides a wide range of low-cost services to women and men, including family planning, STD diagnosis and treatment, and birth control on a confidential basis. You should also encourage Amelia to discuss this with her parents. She is behaving responsibly in wanting to protect herself.

Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married for decades, but 10 years ago she had, at the least, a texting affair with “Brad,” a longtime friend of her brother’s. Her brother, who knows about the affair, lives on a large tract of land. Brad is there often to go hunting with her brother. My wife and I used to visit frequently, but now there is some concern that Brad might be there, so we don’t go as much. The affair was very upsetting to me, but my wife insisted we keep it quiet so her brother could continue his friendship with Brad.

Over the years, she has occasionally had online contact with Brad and even told him that she appreciated him talking with our son because our son has few friends.

But now our son, who knows nothing about the affair and how badly it hurt me, has become friendly with Brad. Should we tell our son about the affair?

Still Hurt in Texas

Dear Still Hurt: Tempting as it may be, keep that information to yourself. Because you prefer not to hear what your son and Brad are doing, the next time it comes up, change the subject.