Husband limits spouse’s time spent with grandkids

Dear Annie:

Once a year, I spend a weekend over at my son’s house to babysit my grandkids. They always take a trip for their anniversary so my son asks me in advance. I don’t mind because I really don’t get to see them often. My husband has a real issue with this. I would let them come stay with us, but we always have company and there really isn’t much here for them to do. My husband threatens to leave me every time, and he literally stops talking to me. Am I doing something wrong? He always makes me pick — him or my grandkids.

Dear Gramp:

Grumpy Gramp

The saddest thing in your letter is that your husband is missing out on the joy and beauty of being a grandparent. Making you pick between him and the grandkids is immature — and incredibly controlling. This relationship is isolating you from friends and family. His actions are more than just grumpy; they are toxic. Reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for support.

I am the youngest child of six children. I am in my 50s, so I am not a child. My mother had twin girls first. These two sisters

Dear Annie:

have always been praised for being twins. They act as if they know everything, and they do not take criticism well. One of the twins is so dysfunctional that it is impossible to even bring up any sort of sensitive subject. When I cannot take it anymore, the other twin pleads with me not to say anything. It has gotten so bad that I will not go to family gatherings at times. I have realized that when I do go, I worry about my hair and what I am wearing before I go. I have been told by a sister (not a twin) that I need to stand my ground and say something like, “I did not realize I asked for your opinion.” I know if I do that, then my sister will not leave me alone.

If I know she will not change, should I stand up for myself or keep my head down?

Youngest Sister

Dear Youngest Sister:

You should stick up for yourself. What she is doing is bullying, and a bully doesn’t stop until they see that you are strong enough to stick up for yourself. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. So, don’t consent!