PLAYS HIT & BUN

Yanks’ franks don’t quite cut mustard

This bites. Retired Navy missile repairman Tom Lohr is going around the country sampling the franks at all of the 30 Major League Baseball stadiums — and he just gave the Nathan’s hot dog (r.) at Yankee Stadium a B+.

“It’s an above-average dog, but it loses points because of the price and dull toppings,” Lohr says of the $6 frank.

The Oklahoman has completed two-thirds of his stadium tour, which started April 12 in Arlington, Tex., and will end 16,000 miles later in Atlanta (if his six-year-old Toyota holds up). His rating system puts the Bronx brat in eighth place, behind nearly perfect tube steaks in Colorado, Minnesota, Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, Chicago (White Sox), Arizona and Kansas City.

The Yanks earned perfect scores of five points in Lohr’s categories of Bun, Taste, Topping (for the quality of the few available) ilable) and, bizarrely, , Portability, but ut scored only 3.5 points for Price and “It factor.” Huh?

“In Kansas City, you can get jalapeño topping and the buns are steamed,” he says. “At Yankee Stadium, tadium, the basic dog doesn’t have the ‘It Factor.’ ”

Lohr travels to Citi Field Wednesday to see if the Meats, er the Mets, can beat their crosstown rivals, or at least the Oakland A’s, in last place at 18 points.

Yankee fans cheered Lohr’s man-bites-dog quest.

“They are awful,” said Bruce Berman, 69, a retired UPS salesman from East Northport, L.I. “The roll is so stale, it doesn’t matter what the heck is inside.”

Follow Lohr’s trek on his blog at ballparkdogs.blogspot.com.