FOREPLAY FUELED FOSSILS

If you’re more into foreplay than quick hookups, T-Rex may be the lover for you.

No, I’m not talking about the old rockers, but the pre-Stone Age ones with the massive choppers and ridiculous baby arms.

Too bad they’re extinct. (OK, maybe that’s a good thing.)

According to Scientific Reports, extensive research has shown that these ugly beasts were “sensitive lovers” who’d get all hot and slathered by rubbing their snouts on one another. They didn’t say it was great sex, just big-nose sex.

They should have tried riding the 6 train at rush hour — they’d be T-Rex sexed-up all the time. There’s enough inappropriate rubbing, not to mention snotty noses, to have kept them alive forever.

The journal reports, “In courtship, tyrannosaurids might have rubbed their sensitive faces together as a vital part of precopulatory play.” They are referring to their huge snouts, which were the most sensitive part of the dino face.

This is horrible. It was bad enough that scientists declared in July that mighty dinos made more of a squeak than a dino roar. Can you imagine a giant prehistoric creature opening its massive jaws and a pigeon coo coming out? It would be like hearing David Beckham speak for the first time.

Now they tell us T-Rexes were also sensitive lovers who were into foreplay before they Rex sexed. What next? Did they also wear smoking jackets and pop on some Kenny G to get in the mood?

Oh I love it when you rub me with that big snout, baby!

No wonder they went extinct.