Personal and professional resilience as a response to stress
Are you resilient? How hard is it to bounce back after stressful experiences? The goal of managing stress is to grow in self-awareness and develop resilience. Without ways to do this, most of us only survive stress (tread water, phone it in, get by). Others collapse under the burden of stress (gets sick, overeat, drink excessively, misuse drugs).
In “Revolution From Within: A Book of Self-Esteem,” (1992), Gloria Steinem asserted that individual’s needs are as essential as needs of others. Steinem’s message translates into managing dual commitments and simultaneous responsibilities in meeting the needs of others and the needs of self.
Generations of nurses have struggled when agreeing to overtime when they knowingly exceed their physical/mental capacities. How does one ensure that shifts are covered (needs of others) without jeopardizing one’s nutrition/hydration/rest (needs of self)? While giving up self-care activities during overtime seems like a solution, patient care and personal well-being will likely suffer. See the State Board of Nursing opinion on overtime situations: www.op,nysed.gov/prof/nurse/ nurse-workplacein formation.htm
The work-life balance we all seek is not a binary choice. You can meet yours and others needs by allowing both to coexist, considering both important. Three strategies that support building self-care practices are:
When stressful situations cannot be changed or solution is in the future, what is possible is relating to the situation differently. We do this by acknowledging the unchangeable reality in which we find ourselves. In radical acceptance we control the only thing that can be controlled, namely, ourselves and our responses, recognizing that the situation may be currently untenable. This does not rule out working toward change over time, the best time may just not be now.
Boundaries are learned experiences. To have a boundary is to know your limits, be in touch with what you want/need, and be able to say “no” to others in an assertive, proactive way. Individuals who put others’ needs above their own needs have difficulty with boundaries, thus contributing to stress. When we have trouble saying “no” to others, we need to strengthen our boundaries and connect better with their limits. Having a bigger “yes” inside makes it easier to say “no” when it’s necessary.
Mindfulness is a type of meditation adapted from Buddhist tradition. To practice mindfulness involves awareness of the present moment, allowing thoughts to be present without engaging or interacting with them. Focus is typically on the breath with the body relaxed. The goal is to allow thoughts to be present and pass by without reacting to them, maintaining focus on the breath. It’s a simple way to calm you, deepen the connection with yourself, and manage stress. Three apps to explore mindfulness are Calm, Headspace, and Simply Being.
As you pursue self-care practice, these three questions may provide informative guidance: Do you have or can you develop an intention of self-care? Can you identify one self-care action you recently took or could have taken? Do you have a self-care goal? Always remember the goal of managing stress is to grow in self-awareness and develop a Resilient You – thriving in a world of stressful challenges! — Annette Vallano, MS, RN, APRN-BC is a board-certified Psychiatric-Mental Health Clinical Nurse Specialist, Nurse Practitioner, and Psychoanalyst with a private practice in New York City.