Why teenage girls kill themselves

Madison, a 16-year-old junior, comes across as the girl who seems to have it all. She is smart, athletic and popular. Underneath her smiling façade (the “mask,” as she likes to call it), though, there is darkness, turmoil, depression, anxiety and angst fighting to surface.

“I am a real fake, a phony, the kind of girl I can’t stand,” she told me. (Madison is not her real name.) “All of this,” she continues, “it’s not real, it’s not what I see when I look in the mirror. That girl is disgusting and gross. That girl doesn’t deserve to be alive.”

For Madison, suicide isn’t a distant thought. At times, it feels like a hopeful solution, a way to end the daily pain and sorrow she experiences.

According to national statistics, she is far from an anomaly. The National Institute for Mental Health reported in 2015 that 19% of girls 12-17 have experienced at least one major depressive episode over the course of a year. Girls ages 15-17 are at highest risk.

And according to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control, the suicide rate for teen girls has doubled since 2007. The rate for boys is still higher than it is for teen girls, given that boys tend to choose more lethal methods. But the fact that girls are so quickly closing that gap is nothing short of alarming.

It is difficult to identify one specific explanation for this recent rise in suicide. In reality, there are a host of factors that probably contribute to the spike.

Better health in general has resulted in girls reaching puberty at younger ages. Early-developing girls are more prone to depression. At a time when self-esteem and self-confidence are most vulnerable, these girls must deal with the discomfort and awkwardness that often comes with a changing body.

Cognitively speaking, they are still children and yet they are often sexualized by the outside world because they look older. This results in feelings of shame, embarrassment and sometimes self-loathing.

At the very same time, many of these girls are entering the arena of social media. These days it is not uncommon for an 11- or 12-yearold to have a presence on Snapchat or Instagram (though the minimum legal age is 13).

There is a double standard out there for girls when it comes to social media. Unlike their male counterparts, they are subject to intense scrutiny. The selfie generation has been encouraged to value appearance over content.

Girls generally negotiate the world by making intimate relationships with others. The most popular girls are able to adeptly navigate their social landscape. But social media by design encourages participants to constantly judge and, and, consequently, be judged by others. Developing self-esteem then is influenced by the reactions of people teen girls don’t even really know.

It is well documented that unlike their male counterparts, girls are more prone to engage in what is known as “relational aggression” instead of physical aggression. Social media encourages this type of sabotage, which focuses on destroying the social connections of others. The lack of direct contact distances people from the destruction their words can cause — and subsequently seems to promote a lack of empathy.

Girls also seem to be more bound by the pressure and rules of the social media world. They their lives in live time. Too few likes, failure to respond immediately and appropriately to posts of friends: these can all lead to negative pushback from their online peers.

In her recent bestseller “American Girls,” Nancy Jo Sales travelled around the country talking to teenagers about the profound effect social media is having on their lives. One main corollary she found among all the teens she interviewed is that social media and the ability to constantly be connected has taken a great toll on individual confidence.

Fear of missing out creates stress and pressure. Ask your average teen girl if she believes all she sees on social media, and she will instinctively tell you no. The exposure, however, leaves so many girls feeling as if their lives are empty and meaningless. They covet what others have even though they are aware that much of what they see can be likened to an ongoing scripted reality show.

The digital world is not going to suddenly disappear. We must therefore find ways to counteract the negative aspects to help our teens deal with it. For girls specifically, the key lies in encouragement through empowerment.