If A-Rod only had a brain: Ex’s mom

According to the mother of Alex Rodriguez’s former Silicon Valley paramour, Anne Wojcicki, A-Rod doesn’t have A-lot upstairs.

“I liked A-Rod, he was a very nice man,” Esther Wojcicki told Maureen Dowd of the New York Times. “He came from a Hispanic family. We liked them, they were very sweet. He seemed to be genuinely in love with Anne. But I right away figured out this was a mismatch. He had no academic background. We couldn’t have an intellectual conversation about anything.” Ouch. Rodriguez, who is currently dating singer/actress Jennifer Lopez, was an item with Wojcicki in 2016, and the couple attended the lavish Met Gala that year where they carpooled and rubbed elbows with Wojcicki’s ex, Google founder Sergey Brin.

But while the New York Times story says that geography and “parenting obligations” eventually caused A-Rod and Wojcicki to split, Esther Wojcicki said in the Times story that Rodriguez didn’t exactly make the All-Star romance team when he was with her daughter, and instead spent a lot of time watching baseball.

“His main interest in life was something that none of us had ever focused on, which was baseball. He could park himself in front of a TV and watch baseball for 10 hours a day,” Esther Wojcicki said. “He wasn’t even sure he wanted to go on the yacht with Anne because the TV might not be working. I wish J-Lo all the luck in the world.”

The Times story said Anne Wojcicki accommodated her then boyfriend’s baseball addiction by installing TV sets in her Bay Area home so “A-Rod could watch baseball.”

“I didn’t realize that you need special channels to watch sports games,” Anne Wojcicki told Dowd. “Alex is a really sweet guy. He’s a smart guy. He’s a good person. Alex lives in this world of cash-flow businesses, and Silicon Valley lives in this world of the potential of the future. So it was actually kind of a really fun conversation. Alex was really into car dealerships, and I was like, ‘We’re all about self-driving cars. Nobody’s going to buy a car. You want to buy a car dealership? I’m going to short your car dealership.’”

When Anne Wojcicki first told her mother about her new romance with the star-crossed former Yankee slugger, Esther Wojcicki didn’t know A-Rod was a person. “When I started dating Alex,” Anne Wojcicki said. “My mom was like, ‘What’s an A-Rod?’ I was like, ‘Mom, that’s his name.’”

Esther Wojcicki soon saw the price her daughter paid for dating a bold-face name who had a history of scandals while playing in pinstripes — from a season-long doping ban to sunbathing in Central Park shirtless to squiring a stripper while still married.

“We couldn’t go anywhere with (Rodriguez). If we went to Target to look for clothes for the kids, all of a sudden we’d be looking around and people would be saying, ‘We just want a selfie with A-Rod.’ He can’t walk across Central Park. He has to take a cab,” Esther Wojcicki said. “That will work better with J-Lo because she’s like, ‘Take a picture of me anytime.’” GETTY