TOP DON SEXUAL SCANDALS

There have been so many sleazy White House sex scandals in Trump’s administration in first 14 months that they should cover the chairs in the Oval Office in paper toilet seat covers to prevent STDs. Here then the top six:

6. Exposed!

Turns out that frequent White House/Mara-Lago visitor, political operative and sleazebag-turned Russia probe witness George Nader had been indicted in the 1980’s for—ugh—child porn.

5. Exposed!

Top aide Rob Porter resigned when it was revealed that he knocked around his two ex-wives. Current love interest White House Communications Director, Hope Hicks also resigned after scripting a WH Porter defense statement and admitting under oath that she told “white lies” in the course of her WH duties.

Campaign Manager Corey Lewandowsky, who had also been in a romantic relationship with Hicks was indicted (charges later dropped) for roughing up a reporter, and reportedly smacking singer/Trump supporter Joy Villa, “on the ass.”

Trump was caught on camera telling Billy Bush to “Grab ’em by the p—y.” NBC fires Bush, Trump is elected President.

Buzzfeed publishes the “pee dossier” by former M.I.6. Brit spy Christopher Steele, which claims that while in Russia, Trump had hookers pee on the bed President Barack Obama had slept in. Russians allegedly have hidden camera tape.

Porny, horny Stormy Daniels scores $130,000 from Trump lawyer to keep quiet about alleged affair with married Trump. Witness to the payoff is porn star Jessica Drake, who also claimed Trump sexually assaulted HER. Stormy sues Trump to negate deal because Trump, (aka David Daniels) didn’t sign it.

4. Exposed! 3. Exposed! 2. Exposed! 1. Exposed!