Caution: May cause anxiety

Last week, taking a 1986 state law to an insane extreme, a California judge ordered cancer warning labels to be slapped on coffee, wherever it’s sold — because a technically carcinogenic chemical called acrylamide, created when beans are roasted, is present in trace amounts. But there’s no viable scientific evidence that drinking the wonderful hot black goo causes cancer, and plenty of evidence that it’s good for you. Studies say coffee helps guard against Parkinson’s disease, diabetes and hypertension. Not long ago, researchers said that drinking at least three cups a day reduces the hardening of your coronary arteries.

We even find that, despite its reputation for giving people the jitters, coffee even helps calm us down in a world full of hysterical fearmongering.