THINGS NOT TO SAY WHEN IN STARBUCKS
It was the best of weeks, it was the worst of weeks for Donald Trump. Chaos as leadership reigned as it has during his whole presidency. And, as usual, there was the good, the bad, the ugly and really, really ugly.
Big Bucks for Big Shots: Big banks recorded near-record profits and Trump’s tax cuts were the driver, no question. The rich got richer, and with any luck, the rest of us may see some extra bucks too.
Low Flying Freak: Little Rocket Man, Kim Jong Un-Stable, announced that he was taking his rockets out of his pockets and suspending missile testing and shutting down a nuclear test site. That’s not just a good thing
that’s a great thing. There can be no doubt that CIA Director Mike Pompeo’s visit over Easter weekend had much to do with this. Credit where it’s due please.
Fear and Loathing In D.C.: Team Trump fears that even though Michael (I’d Take a Bullet for the President) Cohen would take a bullet for him, he might not take the bullet points Robert Mueller has aimed his way. In fact, Trump’s former attorney and longtime legal adviser, Jay Goldberg admitted to CBS News that he told Trump that Cohen might flip when faced with prison.
Hold on a minute here! If there IS no criminality as Trump says there isn’t, what would Cohen have to flip on Trump about the fact that Trump treats him like dog crap on his shoe?
Trying on a New Suit: The Democratic National Committee filed a lawsuit against the Trump Campaign, Russia and WikiLeaks. They charged that among other things, the campaign was “a racketeering enterprise” that worked with the Russian intelligence agents to interfere in the election, which the suit deems “an act of previously unimaginable treachery.” The chances of these as-yet unproven allegations going anywhere however, are probably as I like it black. Where is the bathroom? Also never refer to their hashtag #racetogether and most especially do not sit down at a table while black. Any of these things can get you arrested and hauled out in cuffs. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Not only did one shop get exposed worldwide for racism, Starbucks is like the Pharma Bro of coffee. They get you hooked and then charge you 7 million times the appropriate price for a lousy cuppa.
Every time I go into a Starbucks (which is about as often as I see a white buffalo), I do so knowing I’m about to get held up.
Not only do they force us to fake-speak Italian, (venti, grande), from a “barista” (what happened to “counter guy?”) for a coffee that costs half a day’s salary and either tastes like burnt beans or is cold brewed which is-what?-made from coffee beans laying around in room temperature water for hours. Didn’t lukewarm coffee sitting around for hours used to require brewing a fresh pot? good as Trump not combing over.
Men of Steele: Parts of the Steele dossier were proven true, which means that the pee-hooker tape could also exist, which in turn means that the President of the United States could hypothetically be blackmailed by the president of Russia.
Ooops: The GOP pressure to release James Comey’s private notes backfired big time. The notes say Trump talked Russian prosties, easing up on the investigation of Mike Flynn, and his demand of loyalty. This isn’t news but they did back up what Comey had already said and testified to. The GOP tried to spin it, but it spun out of control instead.
Stormy Days: The porn star once again insisted that she won’t be silenced and wants it all to come out, so to speak. What’s left to come out? It was a one night sleazy hookup that she’s attempting to turn into a saga. The storm is being downgraded to a shower. (No! Not that kind of shower!)
The term, “golden showers,” thanks to Comey & Co., are now a regular part of political conversation. And no, “golden showers” doesn’t refer to showering with the Golden State Warriors.