How to spot when a game is rigged

White Plains, N.Y.: The Steelers-Browns game was rigged. Many of the Browns points were fake points and should be disqualified. A lot of fine Americans — but I don’t know any names — say that another team or party of teams broke into Heinz Field and changed the night lights to ultraviolet lights, temporarily blinding the Steelers players. Some great people — I don’t know any names — say that some referees noticed a slippery disinfectant-like substance on the footballs the Steelers were using. Many famous scientists and doctors — but I don’t know any names — say that the field was sprayed with the COVID vaccine and that Steelers players experienced side effects during the game.

The Steelers had to have won. After all, they had more fans in the stands cheering them on. A lot of those fans are planning to storm the NFL commissioner’s office today to protest and reverse the result of the game. Stop the Steel!

Steve Howell