What men owe Cuomo’s accusers
Amidst the storm that’s been unleashed since the release of the attorney general’s investigative report on Gov. Cuomo’s treatment of women, it’s easy to forget that this story is about more than the governor’s depraved behavior. Yes, we are fixated on the sordid details of the investigation’s findings that include corroborated accounts of physical touching, sexual harassment and demeaning comments made by Cuomo and perpetuated by a loyal group of aides who protected him for years. We are shocked and disgusted by his failure to acknowledge the harm he’s done and instead turn the blame onto his victims.
But missing from our discourse is any real reckoning of how we let this happen. Again.
Since Tuesday, I’ve spent time talking to my female colleagues, staff, friends and family to ask them how they’re feeling in light of the attorney general’s announcement. The most common refrain, other than anger towards the governor and his enablers and sadness for those who endured the abuse, was exhaustion.
They were tired of seeing another man get away with harassment and bad behavior for years, overwhelmed by the enablers who stood by and in many cases actively participated in the retaliation and silencing of those who dared to challenge the status quo. They were tired of needing to share their own traumas and stories of harassment to those around them to help guide the conversation and to provide context for those who may have doubts or concerns about what they were hearing. They were tired of shouldering the responsibility to educate, motivate, validate and illustrate how prevalent this behavior is.
It should be no surprise to anyone paying attention that almost all of these women have experienced some form of gender-based discrimination in their workplaces and in their daily lives. Biases, stereotypes and harassment towards women are pervasive everywhere. As men, we are all-too-often oblivious to this reality.
In recent years, countless women have been brave enough to speak publicly about their painful experiences. Why should they be the only ones to take on such an excruciating burden? Fighting back against a culture of sexual harassment and unequal gender-based treatment, and educating society about what kind of behavior is and is not appropriate, can no longer fall solely on survivors. It’s up to all of us.
True allyship is manifested when we stand up for workers, when we believe survivors, when we help shoulder the emotional labor and bring abuse to light to make sure that sexual harassment and assault don’t go unpunished. It’s when we center survivors’ voices and follow their lead in addressing the trauma that they experience. It’s when we systematically work to dismantle the institutions and the cultures that foster and perpetuate harassment and work to change the norms — and laws — that protect harassers and their enablers.
We have more work to do. In 2019, the Legislature held landmark hearings into sexual harassment in state government, largely informed by the voices of survivors. Those hearings led to the passage of legislation by Sen. Alessandra Biaggi which lowered the unreasonable standard of proof for sexual harassment and discrimination — legislation which Cuomo signed into law and now stands accused of violating. This year, the state Senate passed my bill to protect vulnerable workers by banning “no rehire” clauses when someone settles a claim against their employer, as well as my bill to close the personal staff loophole that puts many public servants in a dangerous grey area.
And while I’m proud of these accomplishments, these are just stepping stones on the path towards the cultural shift that we need right now. Meeting this moment takes more than just legislation, and it takes more than just “calling it out when you see it.
It takes accountability, empathy, and most importantly, action. It’s being supportive in the moment and after, actively creating safe spaces and workplaces where that behavior is not tolerated, and using our resources to ensure that it doesn’t happen in the first place. It was incredibly encouraging to read public reports of several state commissioners affirmatively reaching out to their staff to condemn the governor’s — their boss’s — behavior, and more importantly, offer support and assistance for anyone experiencing harassment. We need more of this.
Sexual harassment will continue to persist unless we all stand up and join together with those who have been shouldering the burden of this work for far too long. We need to listen to the people in our lives who have experienced this behavior and understand how we can actually change things. And we need to be unequivocal and resolute in our efforts to remove the people and systems that allow these behaviors to root in the first place.
Gounardes represents Bay Ridge, Dyker Heights, Bensonhurst and other neighborhoods in the state Senate.