Gobble up this variety pack of fantasy advice

Cereal has been a staple for breakfast since William and John Kellogg toasted some flakes of corn in 1896. We’ve come a long way since then. Walk down any cereal aisle and your eyes will see a colorful menagerie of leprechauns, roosters, tigers, rabbits and even a toucan pushing the stuff.

I’m not sure that’s what the Kelloggs had in mind in

1896, but who could argue that the very best way to purchase cereal is in the stupendous Variety Pack. With eight delicious assortments, these single serve, brilliant boxes of goodness are ready to go, no matter where your adventures take you. The following list is a variety pack of Fantasy Football information, full of scintillating suggestions and tasty tips. “They’re Gr-r-reat!”

LIFE CEREAL

A horrible feeling in life is filling a bowl with cereal and opening the fridge only to find you’re out of milk. You messed up. You weren’t prepared. You didn’t think ahead. At least you can run to the grocery store and grab a gallon of milk. The same cannot be said if you do not secure the backup to your best starting running back. J.K. Dobbins is unfortunately out for the season with a knee injury. If Dobbins owners didn’t have Gus Edwards on their roster, they messed up. They weren’t prepared. They did not think ahead. But they cannot run to the back-up store and buy a gallon of Gus. Always handcuff your starting running backs.

LUCKY CHARMS

If you win your fantasy game because you found a penny heads-side up, keep that penny in your pocket for next week. If you win your fantasy game because you wore your lucky shirt, be sure to wear it again next week. And whatever you do, don’t wash it. It’s all about luck when it comes to Fantasy Football. A solid roster, depth at key positions and easy matchups have little to do with your team’s success. The Fantasy gods decide who shall prosper and who shall perish. It’s in their divine hands. And if you believe anything in this paragraph you must think Lucky Charms are good without the marshmallows. They aren’t.

COCOA PUFFS

I’m cuckoo for trades. They are a big part of Fantasy Football. I don’t understand leagues that won’t allow them. That’s like eating cereal with a fork. It makes no sense. Trades take a very particular set of skills acquired over a very long career. Trying to convince a fellow owner a player has value when you’re willing to bail on him is not easy. A trade should mutually benefit both teams, but your own a little bit more. How is the best way to offer a trade? Pick up the phone. Make your offer and wait for an answer. If no trade is made, thank your associates graciously without insults. Remember, you might need to deal with them again. Make sure your league has a trade deadline, preferably by Week 12. This will help avoid collusion between owners. The last thing a league needs is losing franchises trading away studs to help their friends make the playoffs.

FROSTED FLAKES

Throngs of fantasy enthusiasts cheered when the NFL announced an additional game this season. Hooray for the NFL for putting their fans first. But nothing in life is free, and this good news came with a price. Week 14 is when most leagues start their playoffs. The flaky NFL schedulers decided to give four teams a bye in Week 14. Therefore, do not start your playoffs then. Have a round robin in which each team plays against every other. The highest scoring half of your league gets a win, the lowest scoring half gets a loss.

I don’t know many folks who like Raisin Bran. At least no folks under 60. Once the milk hits the bowl, a gelatinous brown muck is created that can make even the strongest cereal enthusiast run from the breakfast table. I feel the same way about a certain virus that shall go unnamed. We must prepare for the worst sometimes in Fantasy Football. There are simple rules leagues can employ to calm the waters. Make use of injured reserve for players either infected or exposed and therefore can not play. If NFL games get canceled, have a double header or even a triple header the next week to complete the schedule. A best-ball league that uses your highest-scoring players automatically slotted in your lineup is a good solution. Be creative and patient. The idea is to get the games in best you can.

RICE KRISPIES

Sometimes ankles can snap, crackle or pop. Injuries are a part of football, from pee-wee to college to the NFL. They are as unavoidable as a delicious bowl of Cap’N Crunch destroying the roof of your mouth. Because of this fact some leagues will wait until the very last possible day to have their drafts. What’s the fun in that? The fantasy team that drafted J.K. Dobbins was totally upended last week. The ripple effect was felt throughout leagues nation-wide as teams scrambled to see who had Gus Edwards, J.K.’s backup. The mayhem that ensued is worth the price of any league entry fee.

TRIX

I love the annual buzz around rookie quarterbacks. Trevor Lawrence of the Jags threw two touchdowns last week against the Cowboys. Justin Fields of Da Bears had a TD in a good game versus the Titans. The 49ers’ Trey Lance rotated in and out with Jimmy Garoppolo in their game against the Raiders and ran for a TD. Mac Jones was just named the starter in New England (My sympathies to Cam Newton). The new Pride of the Jets, Zach Wilson, has looked very sharp thus far. But to quote the great Bill Parcells, “Let’s not put them in Canton yet.” This is the preseason. Defensive coordinators will not tip their hands for a meaningless contest.

WHEATIES RAISIN BRAN

The Breakfast of Champions. Enough said. Next Week: Fantasy Billboard will be appearing on Thursdays with Start/Sit advice beginning Sept. 9.