Enter feast mode with Week 12 fantasy plays!
“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is no coincidence.” — Erma Bombeck
Let’s give thanks for Fantasy Football in our Giddy Ups (Thanks!) and Whoa Downs (No Thanks!) for Week 12.
THANKS!
Dak Prescott, QB — My motherin-law makes her famous jello mold with fruit salad trapped inside it on holidays. I groan when it’s placed on the table. Then everyone digs in and loves it. There were plenty of groans after Dak’s wobbly effort last week, but he should have left tackle Tyron Smith and WR CeeDee Lamb back. In this mustwin game against the Raiders, don’t jiggle Dak out of your lineup. Dig in and love it!
Trevor Lawrence, QB— Buffalo, Indianapolis and San Francisco all gobbled up Trevor in his last three games. But this week he faces the Atlanta Turkeys… I mean Falcons. It’s all about that baste baby! QBs average an unbelievable 106.2 passer rating against them. If you need a fill-in for Mahomes on a bye, Trevor should knock the stuffing out of the birds in Atlanta.
Javonte Williams, Melvin Gordon III, RB — The best parts of the turkey are the drumsticks because you have two of them. The best parts of the Broncos offense are the running backs because you have two of them. The Chargers gave up almost two TDs per game in their last six games to RBs. This week that’s one for Javonte and one for Melvin.
Brandon Aiyuk, WR — Spinach souffle takes a lot of time to prepare, is kind of yucky and usually cooked on special occasions. Aiyuk has taken all season to prepare, was kind of yucky, but finally started cooking. Against the Vikings’ wilted secondary, Aiyuk will make like Popeye — strong to the finish when he eats his spinach.
Elijah Moore, WR— No Thanksgiving is complete without pecan pie. A mosaic of toasted pecans floating on a sweet and silky river of caramel layered on a flakey, buttery crust goes perfectly with a tall glass of milk. Are you hankering for a slice now? I’m hankering for a slice of Elijah Moore to toast the Texans. He was sweet and silky last week with crusty Joe Flacco at QB. Let’s hope Zach Wilson can follow the same recipe.
Noah Fant, TE — The secret to great mashed potatoes is to always use a quality masher. The Chargers are 30th in the NFL defending TEs. They’ve given up four TDs in the last two games. This week, consider Fant a quality masher. After he scores a TD, the ensuing yardage will be gravy.
NO THANKS!
Ryan Tannehill, QB — A.J. Brown is gimpy, Julio Jones is out and the other Tennessee WRs are a bunch of unproven youngsters. Now they face the vaunted Patriots. Ryan has three TD passes his last three games. Leave him and his kiddie-corps at the children’s table.
Trevor Siemian, QB — Tart and tangy, cranberry sauce is plopped on a plate and placed on the table. It’s amazing how it retains the shape and ridges of the can. The Saints plopped Trevor into the starting lineup. But he could not retain their winning ways, losing three games in a row. Plop goes the season. The Bills will bog him down like a soggy cranberry.
Myles Gaskin, RB — Brussels Sprouts. You can smother this stinky vegetable with cheese, maple syrup or butter and it still makes the house smell like a bathroom in Port Authority. I feel the same way about Gaskin against Carolina. I’m not saying he stinks, but sometimes things just don’t smell right.
Leonard Fournette, RB — The Colts run D is spectacular. They are the frizzled onions atop the string bean casserole, the toasted marshmallows atop the candied yams and the whipped cream atop the pumpkin pie. They’ve given up one 100-yard game and three TDs to RBs all season. Tom Brady will go to the air to score and Fournette will be all for naught.
Jarvis Landry, WR — Don’t fill up on dinner rolls on Thanksgiving. Leave some room for the good stuff. Likewise, don’t fill up on balky WRs with a beat up QB. Limping Landry hasn’t topped 26 yards in three weeks and has yet to score a TD in 2021.
Odell Beckham, Jr, WR — Spaghetti and meatballs.
Dawson Knox, TE — Knox was the leading receiver for Buffalo last week but be forewarned. MyCole Pruitt (who?) is the only TE to score on the Saints this year. When it comes to starting Knox this weekend, make like the bowl of glazed carrots and pass.
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Share your creative Fantasy team names on my Twitter feed @fantasybillboa7 and get a shout out in the Daily News! The winners this week are Reese’s Pieces (Amelia Island, Fla.) Jane’s Getting Serious (Wall, N.J.) and Kelly’s Heroes (Buffalo).