Britney’s pain: I was ‘absolutely screaming inside’ for 13 years
Britney Spears is giving fans a piece of her heart ahead of the new year.
The “Piece of Me” singer, 40, took to Instagram on Monday encouraging people to pray no matter what they’re going through and wrote in a candid note about her struggles, including the ways in which her family hurt the pop star during her 13-year conservatorship, her temporarily lapsed faith and her optimism going into 2022.
Pointing to a time in 2018 when she struggled with her faith, Spears said that, “From every angle I was being hurt for no reason and my family was hurting me . ... I chose the fake denial ‘everything’s totally fine’ approach because I didn’t want to cause conflict.”
In reality, Spears said, she was “absolutely screaming inside.”
“I wanted to be nice but what they did to my heart was unforgivable !!!!! ” she said, noting that she was repeatedly told she could not perform new music and remix her old work during the time she had off during her Vegas residency. “It was a set up to make me fail.”
“That’s just the surface issues. People have no idea the awful things that were done to me personally ... and after what I’ve been through, I’m scared of people and the business !!!! ” said Spears. “Not doing my music anymore is my way of saying ‘F—k You’ in a sense when it only actually benefits my family by ignoring my real work.”
Referring to people who “were loosing [sic] people they loved and dying of cancer,” Spears said she used to feel patronizing by preaching that those struggling should hold on to their faith, though she does now “know the pain of not believing.”
Going into the new year, Spears said, she hopes to “push myself a bit more and do things that scare me but not too much I mean geez,” she wrote. “I’m sorry if I sound ignorant ... I’m extremely insecure and I probably care too much so that’s all I got ... PRAYER !!!! ”
Spears’ controversial conservatorship, which began in February 2008 following a series of highly publicized personal struggles and spawned the “Free Britney” movement, was terminated in November, five months after she requested full control of her affairs.