For older singles, building social connections more important than ever
Want better mental focus? Play with your dog
It’s critical for older singles without family members to name someone to handle their legal, financial and medical affairs should they become incapacitated. But it’s also important to focus on maintaining their health and building a social network.
“Social support becomes extra important for singles,” says Meredith Stoddard, who leads the life-event experience team at Fidelity Investments. “You need to create a safety net.”
That’s not always easy, especially if you’ve never played the role of social coordinator in your household.
Don’t discount informal arrangements — going to a senior center or a strength-training class — because “it would be noticed if you didn’t show up,” Stoddard says. “Make sure your routines work for you.”
Are you a homebody? Consider joining an online community, such as “Living Alone and Connected!” on Facebook.
Considering options
Make sure your permanent living arrangements work for you as well.
One option is to open your home to roommates. A home-sharing service such as Silvernest (www.silvernest.com) can help you find such a setup (also see www. facebook.com/SharingHousing).
If that isn’t your cup of tea, look at other community-building alternatives. For instance, a continuing-care retirement community (CCRC) offers accommodations ranging from independent living to nursing home care.
In a naturally occurring retirement community (NORC), neighbors organize informally to provide a network of support services (find information on both at www. aarp.org and www.fidelity.com/aging).
Virginia Wilkins, 79, bought a house in a 55-plus community as soon as she was eligible, and she hopes to spend the rest of her life there.
Wilkins is typical of most seniors, who say they prefer to stay in their own home (see www.ageinplace.org).
For singles, that can mean taking simple precautions, such as posting on your fridge information about emergency contacts and medications in case it’s needed quickly, or outsourcing as many chores and services as possible, from mowing the lawn to paying the bills (visit the website of the American Association of Daily Money Managers at secure.aadmm.com). Companies such as Carefull (getcarefull.com) and EverSafe (www.eversafe.com) will monitor your accounts for mistakes or signs of fraud.
Long-term care
Whatever living arrangements you choose, consider whether you can pay for long-term care, whether in your home or at a facility, should you need it.
If you have significant assets and a history of good health, you may be able to self-insure.
If not, look into long-term-care insurance.
If you want to improve your concentration for hard tasks, you could lean on internet-blocking apps, compile a productivity-boosting playlist or study up on the science of how to get “in the zone.” Or, new neuroscience research says, you could just take a quick break and play with your dog.
There must be plenty of pet lovers among the world’s scientists because a steady stream of research over the years has looked into the psychological effects of spending time with dogs. In study after study, participants tell scientists they feel calmer, more friendly and more relaxed after petting or playing with an adorable pooch.
This will hardly come as a huge surprise to pet owners, but what is going on in our brains when we spend time with our furry friends?
To find out, a new study out of Konkuk University in South Korea recruited 30 volunteers for the not-too-arduous assignment of walking, brushing and playing with a fluffy 4-year-old poodle named Aro.
BRAIN ACTIVITY STUDIED
Rather than asking participants how their time with Aro affected them, as in previous studies, the researchers actively monitored participants’ brainwaves throughout.
The results were recently published in the journal PLOS One. What did the researchers find?
Some dog-related activities, like walking together through a park, caused participants’ alpha brainwaves to strengthen, which indicates a state of relaxation. Others, like playing with a squeaky toy or brushing, were associated with increased beta waves, indicating greater calm concentration.
As in previous studies, participants also told the researchers they felt calmer and happier after interacting with the dog.
According to study author Onyoo Yoo, this means that you can select particular pet-related activities to help you achieve the brain state you desire.
“This study demonstrated that specific dog activities could activate stronger relaxation, emotional stability, attention, concentration and creativity by facilitating increased brain activity,” Yoo told NBC News.
This study is, of course, a fun permission slip for pet-loving entrepreneurs to pause during their day and hang out with their beloved fur babies (and another bit of ammo if you’re hoping to talk your boss into a pet-friendly office).
If this new Korean study is anything to go by, a few minutes of grooming or tug-of-war with your dog is likely to have real, positive impacts on brain function and focus.
WHAT TO THINK OF WILLPOWER?
But there is perhaps a deeper lesson here too about the nature of concentration and how to improve yours, whether or not you’re a dog lover.
It’s natural to think of concentration as an exercise in sheer mental willpower.
But psychologists say improving focus is often less about forcing yourself to endure and more about working with your brain’s natural needs for stimulation and variety.
“Researchers have found that our brains tend to ignore sources of constant stimulation,” explains performance coaching startup BetterUp, for example. “Taking very small breaks by refocusing your attention elsewhere can dramatically improve mental concentration after that.
“The next time you are working on a project, take a break when you begin to feel stuck. Move around, talk to someone or even switch to a different type of task. You will come back with a more focused mind to keep your performance high.”
Similarly, time-log studies show that the most productive workers are actually the ones who take regular short breaks, not the ones who plow ahead through unbroken hours.
Taking breaks to hang out with my little rescue mutt is one of my favorite productivity-boosting moves, so I am perfectly willing to believe that playing with your dog does have a modest impact on your brain, as the Korean researchers claim.
WHAT IF YOU HAVE NO PET?
But if you’re pet-free, you’re not out of luck. You’re likely to come back from any quick, enjoyable, physical activity — from making a cup of tea to doing a lap around your local park — with your ability to concentrate renewed.
The trick to exceptional focus isn’t a game of fetch. It’s knowing that it’s OK to take a break.