U.S. Open commentary makes it rough to watch

U.S. Open: If one were to speak golf in a useful way, one would say Jordan Spieth finished the first round “1under.” But foolcool has replaced such talk, thus we’re told that Spieth “finished in red numbers.”

Friday, ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt couldn’t tell us that Bubba Wat

son is 7over, he was, “Seven, but on the wrong side of the number.” That number being what, even?

Speaking of Watson, here’s the question no one on TV asked aloud: If he wasn’t “into it” — as was both selfevident and noted from the start — why did he waste an alternate’s spot?

How could Ken Duke’s par on No. 9 Friday not make every highlights package? His approach to a par 3 settled in a thick, greenside cluster of grassy straw. So Duke, a righty, lefthand putted it into the nearby bunker — then holed out!

By now, most viewers know when they’re being had, when what’s being shown as what NBC used to call “ostensibly live” must be on tape.

One of roughly 20 examples: Friday on ESPN/NBC, we suddenly saw Rober to Castro, 4over and about to hit his approach, ostensibly live, to his first hole. We knew he either would hole it or stiff it. He left it an inch.

Why play games? As a matter of good faith, let us know what we already suspect. Tell us it was on tape or even “moments ago.”

Next year, with FOX owning U.S. Open rights, it plans to recruit Chris “You Tuned to the Open to Hear Me” Berman from ESPN, via lendlease. Kidding, just kidding.

There’s a classy, respectful way to sing/play our national anthem at sports events. Everything else is something less. There’s a classy, respectful way to observe the anthem when at a game. Everything else is something less.

And only populist radio yahoos would tell you it’s a “depends” thing, or that compromised public conduct isn’t emulated then carried by kids and delivered to their kids.

You can cheer your lungs out and wave towels immediately after the anthem. Don’t go down on the cheap.