Stuf it, new thin Oreos!
Cookie takes a lame twist
FEW things on this earth could be called perfect. Oreos are one of them. At least, they were.
This beautifully proportioned cookie, its creamy vanilla frosting sandwiched between two crunchy chocolate wafers, has been an iconic snack for more than 100 years.
So why would Oreo owner Mondelez International mess with that?
Available nationwide Monday, the new Oreo Thins have a fraction of the original’s greatness— literally. The cookie measures just 6 millimeters thick ( that is, thin), four millimeters less than the standard.
Admittedly, the amount of frosting seems to be about the same in each, if not more in the newversion. Oreo Thins are wider, with a diameter of 1 3/ 4 inches, instead of the old 1 ⁵/ ₈ inches.
Oreo Thins also have 34 percent fewer calories than their predecessor. Big deal! When it comes to Oreos, for me it’s Double Stuf or bust.
The frosting is the best part of the cookie, hands down. The accompanying wafers are meant to crumble and blend with the frosting as you chew, so you enjoy both flavors at
once. But the wafers on the Oreo Thins are so, well, thin, that they just shatter in your mouth. No yummy crumbs, just sharp shards of cookie.
The thinness of the new Oreos also makes them nearly impossible to twist open— which seems to be by design. Oreo Thins are advertised as a “sophisticated” version of the childhood favorite: “At Oreo, we know that some of our fans have grown up and that their tastes have grown up, too,” senior brand manager Patty Gonzalez said in a press release. “The crisp and delicate texture of Oreo Thins was specially designed for fans who love the taste of Oreo but are looking for a more sophisticated cookie.”
Apparently, now that I’m 25, not only am I too old to listen to the Backstreet Boys on repeat but I’m also expected to stop twisting apart my Oreos and dunking each half in a glass of milk.
That lower calorie count? All that means is that it will take more Oreos to satisfy my habit. And, since they’re wider, they don’t fit as easily into my mouth.
My diet can be improved in several ways. Thinning Oreos isn’t one of them.