Weird but true

Thieves broke into a car in Chicago to steal a laptop — and in the process rescued a dog locked inside.

The German shepherd had been locked inside the car on a hot day for 20 minutes when crooks busted a front window and grabbed the computer, police said.

The pooch’s owner was gone an hour, a witness said, adding, “If the window wasn’t broken, the dog would probably be dead.”

And you thought you were suffering during the heat wave.

Residents of upstate Throop have been calling 911 recently to report smoke and horrible smells — sparked by a stable’s large piles of horse manure, which began combusting in the heat.

It took firefighters two hours to put out the flames. It was a tech wreck. A driver in Mendon, Vt., hung a fast U-turn on order from her GPS and struck a utility pole, police said.

The car was going so fast that it ended up nearly vertical as it ran up wires attached to the pole.

No one was injured.

Hey, you’re selling for the wedding ceremony, not the wedding night.

The co-owner of One Enchanted Evening, a bridal shop in Zelienople, Pa., allegedly stripped and stood naked in the display window.

Cops said Peter Scolieri, 54, smelled of alcohol when he was busted for lewdness.

Speaking of keeping your pants on. . .

James and Isabelle Lassitter were at the Wasabi Japanese Steakhouse in Murfreesboro, Tenn., when the tableside chef took out a doll that sprays water when its pants are pulled down and hit Isabelle in the face while aiming for the stove top.

James called it “a sexual-style assault on my wife.”

They called the cops, but no one was arrested.

An officer noted, “I observed the toy to have no penis and just a hole.”

Mangers said chefs will now ask before they whip it out.