Weird true BUT

Caught orange-handed. A Florida inmate was busted eating a drawing made with orange crayon — and soaked in liquid speed, according to reports.

Robert Daniel Eanes, 27, was munching the kiddy art — which featured a smileyfaced sun — when a guard spotted his tasteless snack, cops said. He had several “ice”-drenched pieces of art sent to the Broward County Jail, according to officials. It’s his better half. A crook broke into a novelty shop and swiped the top half of a busty sex doll, police said.

Ellis Doyle, 26, is accused of climbing into the novelty shop in Elyria, Ohio, through a hole in the roof and snatching part of the $2,000 doll. He also stole handfuls of lube and sex toys, according to cops.

You’re never too old to look for love.

A lonely 100-year-old female tortoise named Touché escaped from her owner’s yard in Fresno, Calif., and was found 6 ¹/2 miles away.

Steven George told Touché’s owner, Nancy Knauss, that he spotted the reptile canoodling with a plastic dome covering a water outlet.

The grand opening of a restaurant prompted an active-shooter scare — after customers mistook the sound of balloons popping for bullets.

Officials at a mall in Orlando, Fla., warned shoppers about a balloon-bursting stunt to celebrate the opening of Joey Fatone’s new restaurant, Fat One’s.

But crowds still panicked and ran for the doors, according to cops — who rushed to the scene and found not a single gun.

Cops in India have a bright idea about how to stop cows from causing car crashes: Cover the critters in glow-in-the-dark stickers.

The bright stickers were placed on the horns of at least 300 cows after some of them wandered into busy streets in Madhya Pradesh.