Hondo nearly the Best
HONDO turned what could have been 11-4 into 8-7 during Week 7, thanks to the Falcons blowing a 27-7 lead, the Chiefs getting halfpointed and the Cards kicking away an easy cover.
That’s the bad news. The good? If you look on Page 52 and take note of the Best Bet standings, you will see that Mr. Aitch is a mere half-game away from being a co-occupant of the penthouse.
Browns over Jets: It has been a year of highs and lows for Ryan Fitzpatrick — he has a league-high 11 interceptions and league-low 66.4 quarterback rating. Therefore, go with the Browns, who may not get another chance as good as this one to break into the win column.
From emauler Ed Buckmir: The Ravens are coming off back-to-back lossses in MetLife Stadium to the Giants and Jets. Only Chris Christie, who’s getting hammered daily in the Bridgegate trial and whose approval rating is down to 21 percent, has had a worse October in New Jersey.
Bengals over Redskins: Washington special teams coach Ben Kotwica was caught live-streaming into a Gatorade cup during Sunday’s game in Detroit. Let’s hope he immediately dumped it, otherwise the color similarities between the whiz and a lemonlime Gatorade could have caused a nasty mix-up for some thirsty player.
The Skins really ought to consider allowing coaches to participate in their sideline “huddle-pees.”
Falcons over Packers: Media magnate Sumner Redstone reportedly gave two mistresses $150 million worth of cash and gifts, including stacks of hundred-dollar bills delivered to them daily, a $1.8 million home, $9.2 million for repairs, and $90 million from the sale of stocks. He has to be the second most generous sugar daddy, right behind Barack Obama, who has lavished the Iranians not with mere stacks of cash, but fully-loaded pallets of cash.
Texans over Lions: A second offering from emauler Ed: Michigan is now No. 2 in the polls, which puts Jim Harbaugh a nose hair away from No. 1 Alabama.
Harbaugh could get it this weekend, if not the top ranking, at least the nose hair.
Seahawks over Saints: FBI Director James Comey famously declared recently while being grilled by Congress: “We are not weasels.” However, given the revelations that have come out about the FBI’s conflict of interest regarding its investigation of Hillary Clinton’s private email server, it may be time for Comey to return to Congress and amend his statement (a la Bill Clinton) by declaring: “Indeed, we are weasels.”
At this point, you’d have to say Comey and Roger Goodell are the co-favorites to win Empty Suit of the Year Award. By the way, Hillary already has locked up Empty Pantsuit of the Year.
Patriots over Bills: The NFL’s plunging ratings are being attributed to the election, players disrespecting the flag, dreadful matchups, the concussion issue, etc. But don’t rule out the possibility of viewers being sickened by the botch-ulism poisoning coming from the commissioner’s office. From Deflategate to the Ray Rice and Josh Brown punishments to the excessive fines for celebrations to charging the military for patriotic displays at games, etc., Goodell somehow manages to botch everything that comes his way.
Raiders over Bucs: Chelsea Clinton reportedly gave her mother a “Votes for Women” suffragette sash from the early 1900s on her birthday. Consisting of flowing yellow felt with handsome black lettering, it’s sure to make a lovely accessory to all of Hillary’s doublewide pantsuits.
Colts over Chiefs: Ex-Hoosier hoopster Todd Jadlow writes in his new book, “Jadlow: On the Rebound,” that former Indiana coach and current Donald Trump supporter Bobby Knight often grabbed players by their testicles. The object of their alleged grabs apparently is one of the few areas where Knight and Trump differ.
BarkingMut, reporting live from the battleground state of Florida, writes: Trump says the only thing nastier than Hillary is Indians pitcher Corey Kluber’s slider.
Broncos over Chargers: Former Pa. Attorney General Kathleen Kane has been sentenced to 10-23 months in prison for committing perjury and obstructing justice. She should have tried the defense Hillary uses when she gets caught lying: “I may have short-circuited.”
Cardinals over Panthers: Word is Cards’ coach Bruce Arians will implement a new game plan: Keep the ball away from Chandler Catanzaro’s right foot as much as possible.
Cowboys over Eagles: Bill de Blasio reportedly disrupted a kids’ baseball game in Harlem so he could land a helicopter on the field. That seems appropriate — a bunch of Little Leaguers being bigfooted by a big doof of a minor league mayor.
Vikings over Bears: The Vatican has issued new rules on cremation, decreeing that ashes cannot be scattered, divvied up or kept at home. That’s unfortunate, now Hondo won’t be able to fulfill his promise of a posthumous gift to his heirs of matching, ash-filled mason jars for permanent display in their homes. Sorry, fellas.
BEST BETS: Patriots, Broncos, Vikings.
THURSDAY: Titans (W)