BEEN HER BEFORE

Playing with the boys shaped writer’s game — and spirit

PICTURE THIS: Lakewood, N.J. At a small Catholic school called St. Mary Academy, a fifth-grader finds herself without a place to play hoops because nobody stepped up to coach a girls’ team. After attending basketball camps, playing backyard ball with her brothers and spending hours at a time executing ball-handling drills in the basement, she had a knack for the sport that her fellow female classmates had yet to develop.

Sure, she needed to work on her shot, but she could hold her own with the boys. She was quick, scrappy and had a good handle.

Luckily her father was the coach of the boys’ JV team and allowed her to try out. She made the team, and earned whatever playing time she got, which wasn’t much. On the talented roster, she probably was in the middle of the pack.

During halftime, she sometimes had to leave the locker room when boys had to use the bathroom. But except for the time her mother overheard a parent from the opposing school crack, “Number 14 has a ponytail,” she blended right in.

And when the St. Mary Academy Lakers played against St. Dorothea, she faced off against the other girl in the league — which encompassed most of the Catholic grammar schools at the Jersey Shore. (The next year she was eligible for the girls’ varsity team and with a challenging season of play under her belt, became their starting point guard.)

That girl was me. And the year was 1989.

So I couldn’t believe that in 2016, 27 years later, a father has been forced to sue the Archdiocese of Newark and St. Theresa School inn Kenilworth to enable his 12-year-old daughter,ughter, Syd-Sydney Phillips, to play on the seventh-grade boys’ team.

Last season, Sydney was voted an All- Star, but t hi s year t here weren’ t enough bodies to field a girls’ team. And she wants to play for herr school, where shee is the student coun-uncil treasurer.

“I love basketball, and I just want to play for my school,” she said.

The Post’s Kevin Kernan reports the Office of Youth Ministry and officials at St. Theresa have nixed the idea, stating: “boys play with boys and girls play with girls.”

To borrow — and amend — the rallying call in “The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training” when officials want to shut down their game in the Astrodome, my answer is “Let HER Play.”

Maybe my Catholic school had a different set of governing rules, but I’m glad we weren’t chained to this antiquated idea, which the Archdiocese is sticking to like it’s the 11th Commandment.

Sydney’s crusading father, Scott, says he has yet to be see proof of these regulations. That’s probably because they have to fish them from the Spanish Inquisition archives — which might take some time.

Haven’t these people ever heard of a girl named Mo’ne Davis? Haven’t they ever seen “Quarterback Princess”? Never taken in an episode of the FOX show “Pitch,” in which a girl pitches in the major leagues?

To me the answer is quite simple: If a girl wants to play a sport and there isn’t a female equivalent, she should be able to play with the boys. That is with one condition: Her skill level has to be up to snuff. Sydney should be given the chance to showcase her ability and see if she can hack it out on the hardwood with her male classmates.

One of the most offensive aspects of this story, is that Catholic administrators are perpetrating this injustice. After attending Catholic schools from kindergarten through college, one theme was always constant in my mind: community. Each of my schools made sure our impressionable minds knew we were a part of one. And its greater purpose was to lift each other up. This ridiculous resistance flies in the face of that one uniting concept. There is no community here. There are boys. And then there are girls. And a bizarre agenda wedged in between them.

I had other solid examples around to make me think this melding of genders was a normal and healthy concept. In fact, the coach of the boys’ varsity team at my grammar school was none other than Sister Jean Spena. That’s right. A 5-foot nun coached our boys’ squad. They were consistently good, and she was tough as nails.

All of these factors added up and had a profound effect on me.

As a young girl, I never needed that “You are woman, make sure you roar” pep talk that so many women talk about giving their daughters nowadays. There were no “nasty women” buzz words. I didn’t know who Gloria Steinem was until high school.

I never needed to be told I was good enough because I was shown that I was good enough. I was shown by my parents, my coaches and my Catholic school (God bless those Sisters of Mercy).

What message is being sent to Sydney?

Years later, basketball took a back seat to soccer and then eventually all sports were in the rearview mirror as my career came into focus.

But the lesson I learned from my year of playing with the dudes always stood: I can, and I will, hang with the boys.

I hope Sydney is allowed the opportunity to learn the same lesson.And I will be cheering her on, regardless of the roster she graces.