Time moves slower on hardwood

IT’S WILD, watching basketball devour itself from the inside, out; how the “modernized” system, like Victor Frankenstein’s monster, has turned on its creator.

The worst thing that can happen to our action-savoring attention spans has become what we once preferred — the ends of close games.

Thursday on ESPN, the last 53 seconds of Maryland-Iowa took an excru- ciating seven minutes to play.

But perhaps that is an improvement. In November, the final 28.8 seconds of Maryland-Georgetown ran 14 min

utes. Replay reviews, timeouts, commercials.

By the way, at the end of Thursday’s game, won 84-76 by Maryland, Iowa coach Fran Mc

Caffrey threw an oncourt fit at the refs. He didn’t appear as angry as he did unhinged.

Here is an idea for refs to try to ameliorate the conduct of crybaby coaches: When asked postgame about a coach’s tantrum, reply, “No comment. I’m saving that for my book.” ➤ So how is Howie

Rose spending the first offseason in his 40-year career? Well, he is slumming in Florida, not far from the Mets’ spring training home, and he has started to play golf.

“I knew I’d stink,” he said Friday, “but I didn’t think my score would have a comma in it.”

Nonsense. Last week, Rose made his first birdie, sinking a 40-footer, while taking a playing lesson with Danny Yaccarino. Who?

In 1964 at 12, Yaccarino helped the Staten Island team win the Little League World Se- ries, pitching a no-hitter in the final against Mexico.

That game, on ABC, was called by Jim

McKay. The analysts were MLB team owner/ character Bill Veeck and WNEW-Ch. 5 weekend mornings kids’ show host — “Wonderama,” “Just For Fun” — Irwin

“Sonny” Fox, now 91, and a World War II POW who fought in the Battle of the Bulge.