Bridge

Today’s North was the dreaded Grapefruit, our club member with a temperament like an untipped waiter. He berates his partners without mercy.

At four hearts, South ruffed the third diamond, drew trumps, cashed the ace of spades and finessed confidently with dummy’s jack. He was dismayed when East produced the queen and led a club. Declarer’s queen lost to the king -down one -- and Grapefruit announced that if brains were lard, South couldn’t grease a pan.

“You’re nuts,” South roared. “West overcalled in spades, and I shouldn’t play him for the queen?”

Grapefruit told the kibitzers that if South were any slower, he would have to speed up to stop.

After South draws trumps, he can take the A-K of spades. When the queen falls, he has 10 tricks. But if East-West played low, South could lead dummy’s jack and pitch a club, a loser on a loser.

Then if West took the queen, he would be end-played, forced to concede a ruff-sluff or lead a club into the A-Q.